It's the Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Christmas Special, Charlie Brown! Part One

Some may doubt this, but we here are the Dance Party are Traditionalists. We are Traditionalists in as far as we have our traditions, sacred traditions, sacred, secret traditions, which you can't learn until you've lived through passed the hazing ritual super fun initiation joke.

We also believe in establishing new, improved traditions. Yes, we are the New Traditionalists. If one lives in the U.S.A., one can not turn on the Television Receiver Machine without seeing traditional Television programs: The Peanuts Christmas Special, The Pee-Wee Herman Christmas Special, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, Sarah Palin's Frozen and Blood-soaked Alaskan Christmas, Bad Santa, Naughty Edy the Elf Does the North Pole, and, the classic It's A Hanukkah Christmas This Kawnzaa, Charlie Brown! We, the management and staff of Padre Mickey's Dance Party, present our lovely holiday tradition: the Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Christmas Pageant Posts. Heck, we figure there must be at least three of you Gentle Readers who missed this last year. Plus, isn't if great to see Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House looking so plump and un-simian or un-chickie like? Of course it is! So, may you all be touched with the Holiday Spirit of over-eating, drinking to excess, insane materialism, and parump-a-pum-pum! Also, instead of running this thang for three weeks, we're going for THREE DAYS this year, so, good for us! ¡Desfrutalo!

Red Mr. Peanut Bank Hello, Gallito Mescalito; how are things?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! Shrieky-shrieky-shriek.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, I've noticed that, too, but you know how Padre feels about Advent.


Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! ¡Shrriieekk!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank That's right. He doesn't care what the rest of the neighborhood is doing; he only wants an Advent Wreath right now.


Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Where did that Christmas decoration come from?


Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank And that! Where did that reindeer come from?


Gallito Mescalito ¡¡SHRRIIIEEEEKKK!!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank AAARRRGGGHH! Where did YOU come from¨_
TP Roll Santa Ho! Ho! Ho! Happy Advent!
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank You need to get out of here for a few weeks!
TP Roll Santa Ho! Ho! Ho!


Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Hey, Bank. Hey, Boid. 'sup?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Oh, hello, Cat! We were discussing the season.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy I see dat da neighbohs all gots dere lights and trees up! An' as always, we only gots dat wreath.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, we just chased the TP Santa away!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Well, can't we have jus' a lil' decarashun?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Okay. I'll put up the Nacimiento Mola.



Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Cool!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Hi boys. Nice backdrop!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Hello, Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love! We've been discussing the season.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love And Padre Mickey's obsession with Advent?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Yup!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Say, Red Mr. Peanut Bank, the doggy toys have been talking with me, as well as the rest of the cast, and they want to put on a Christmas Pageant. Would you supervise?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Yeah!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank A Christmas Pageant!?! Well, I suppose so.
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! ¡Shrriieekk!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank I'm sorry, Gallito Mescalito; there's no way on earth you could be the Narrator! Maybe you can be Gabriel...
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy I WANNA BE AN ANGEL!!!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank You look more like a shepherd to me; the Chief Shepherd, but a shepherd nonetheless!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Er, I think I'l go tell the others that you are casting right now.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Okay. Thank you, Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love.
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy I know wut yoo means. A shepherd anna angel. Wut's he tinkin'?


Mighty Moose of Vermont and El Penguino Hi, Everybody!
Everybody Hi, guys!
Mighty Moose of Vermont We hear that there may be a Christmas Pageant and we want to participate.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Hey, Moose! You can be a cow at da manger!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love And El Penguino can be the Baby Jesus!
El Penguino ¿El Divino Niño? ¡PORfaVOR!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, we're still casting. Don't worry.



Diablito Sucio y ¡El Toro! ¡El Tres Reyes! ¡EL TRES REYES!
Squeaky Gorilla Yeah, we wanna be the Free Kings! , skeek
Red Mr. Peanut Bank I'm sorry, but this is a Christmas Pageant. The Three Kings appear at the Epiphany Pageant. What is that noise?
Squeaky Gorilla Sheesh! skeek You sure are strict!skeek What noise?skeek
Red Mr. Peanut Bank THAT NOISE! Look, you guys are going to be shepherds. The Wise Men show up at another pageant.
Diablito Sucio y ¡El Toro! ¿Pastores? ¡Está Bién!
Squeaky Gorilla Okayskeek We'll be shepherds. skeek But keep us in mind for the Epiphany Pageant! skeek


Red Mr. Peanut Bank Hello, Ladies! I suppose you both want to be the Blessed Virgin?
Wooden Kuna Doll Si, Señor.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love That's right, pal. And you'd best make the CORRECT decision!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Give me a few days, ladies; give me a few days!



Telly Tubbies Wanna be in show! Wanna be in show!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Sure, no problem. You four will be angels.
Telly Tubbies Yay! Big Hug!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Sheesh!



Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel Hi! I want to be a shepherd!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Really? I thought that you would be Michael, the Commander of the Heavenly Host, Praising God and saying: Glory to God!
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel But I want to be a shepherd. Or a sheep! Or even a donkey!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, let me think about this...



Toilet Paper Roll Santa Ho! Ho! Ho! I want to be Joseph!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank No! No! No! You won't be in this pageant!
Toilet Paper Roll Santa Darn! Darn! Darn!



Red Mr. Peanut Bank Bunrab! So good to see you! Are you willing to be in our Christmas Pageant?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Yes. I'd love a part if you can spare one.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank I think that you would be great as the Narrator. Also, would you be willing to help me write the script?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Sure! Hey, I think the rooster should play Joseph!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Really? Why?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Because the Holy Family doesn't have any lines! It'll be great!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank We have a week ahead of us!

Will the casting make sense? Will a terrible fight break out between Wooden Kuna Doll and Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love? Will the Pageant include all of Mary Sue's favorite Christmas Carols? Can we drag this out for a few more days? Tune in tomorrow, hopefully, for answers to all these questions!!!