More On The Recent Local (Central/South American) Funny Business

My good friend Eric Jackson of The Panama News has written the following article about the crazy stuff that has been going on. This is not news you folks in the U.S.A. are going to find on your television or in your newspapers, but it's stuff you need to know.

FARC crisis subsides, but something has changed and Panama has had a role
by Eric Jackson
On February 21 and 22, the US Southern Command's Admiral James Stavridis was in Panama for talks with business, political and law enforcement leaders.
Coincidentally or not the next day, according to the National Police's account, a boatload of Colombians was adrift off of the Darien and as the police towed them toward Jaque the six people on that vessel opened fire with automatic rifles and the fire was returned. The Colombians were subdued and arrested, several of them were hospitalized for their wounds and they were identified by police as members of the Colombian Revolutionary Armed Forces (FARC), the main leftist guerrilla force in our neighbors' long-running civil conflict. They were identified as combatants of the rebel army's 57th Front, which operates in areas adjacent to Darien province.
After that stories begin to radically diverge with Alfredo González, a lawyer who says he represents the detained Colombians, alleging that representatives of the US government attempted to interrogate his clients and that Panamanian authorities denied them access to lawyers after they demanded it. Some of the local news organizations also reported, without identifying a source, that the United States had requested that Panama turn the Colombians over to US authorities. All of these allegations were denied by the Torrijos administration.
Meanwhile the National Police said that they found traces of drugs and explosives in the boat and that the Colombians would be charged with drug offenses as well as with assaulting the police in the course of the alleged shootout.
The story got more complicated on February 27, when a purported FARC communique went out over the Internet to various Panamanian media and the government as well. Bearing a FARC letterhead, the message insisted that Panama live up to a claimed agreement with the rebels and release the prisoners, and suggested that hostages might be taken to trade if those in Panamanian custody were not released.
The government called the communication a hoax, with Minister of Government and Justice Daniel Delgado Diamante denying any agreement with FARC and the emails by which the document was sent being traced to an Internet cafe in Arraijan. A 20-year-old working in that business was arrested and the hard drives in the 20 computers on the premises were seized. Later it was reported that the messages came from more than one Internet cafe and the Arraijan man was not charged.
Despite Delgado's denials, there has been a de facto mutual non-aggression pact between Panama's police and FARC for many years, although there have been some breaches of it that include shooting incidents and kidnappings of Panamanian, US and Colombian citizens on Panamanian soil. The drug smuggling and gun running activities of FARC and of right-wing paramilitaries have not been similarly protected, but from Colombian sources there have periodically been reports that irregular Colombian forces do their banking and money laundering here without governmental interference.
That a FARC communique would come from within Panama would not necessarily indicate that it was a hoax, but that it would be directed to the government via the news media would be unusual.
In any case the alleged FARC guerrillas remain in custody, any prospect of them being turned over to the Americans appears remote, and if precedent is any guide they will be quietly released after a relatively brief time behind bars here. Despite all the rhetoric, the reality is that if FARC and Panama's National Police go to war, the cops lose unless backed by US forces. In the event of US intervention, there would be severe political repercussions in Panama, particularly within the ruling PRD. The United States has long offered military assistance to help Panama patrol its border with Colombia, but with minor exceptions for equipment and training this has generally been rejected.
With that situation percolating here in Panama, on March 1 the region was plunged into crisis when Colombian air forces, who had been tipped off by the US forces about a satellite phone that FARC second-in-command and top hostage negotiator Raúl Reyes (whose real name is Luis Edgar Devia) was using, followed that phone's signal to a point three miles into Ecuador from the Colombian border and launched an electronically directed bombardment that killed at least 17 people, most of them FARC rebels but also some Mexican citizens. One of those killed was Reyes and in the wake of the bombardment the Colombian Army went into Ecuador to retrieve what they could. One of the things they allegedly captured in Colombia was Reyes's laptop computer.
The alleged contents of that laptop, as well as of another computer said to have been delivered along with the severed head of a local FARC commander in southern Colombia by a rebel defector, were and still are the subjects of headlines out of Bogota. The Uribe administration claimed, in succession, that documents in the computer it says it captured in Ecuador proved that FARC was seeking to procure 50 kilograms of enriched uranium to make a radioactive "dirty bomb," that Venezuela had financed FARC to the tune of some $300 million and that FARC, in turn, had financed Rafael Correa's campaign for Ecuador's presidency.
However, as the purportedly incriminating documents were released it turned out that they didn't show what was claimed. In one document an "Angel" who was mentioned was supposed to be a code word for Hugo Chávez --- except that the same document made several references to Chávez by his actual name. What was interpreted as a cryptic tale of $300 million given to FARC was on its face a reference to efforts to free a group of 300 FARC hostages. The money for Correa's campaign was somehow inferred from references about contact with Correa.
And what did Correa have to say about it? Of course Reyes was in Ecuador, and of course he was in discussions with FARC and Venezuela about it, Ecuador's president claimed. Ecuador and Venezuela were trying to broker the release of more hostages by FARC, and that was the subject of the satellite phone call between Reyes and Chávez that US intelligence monitored, he said.
The weapons of mass destruction angle? Citing unnamed US intelligence sources, ABC news reported that this claim was very doubtful. The details of US capabilities are highly classified, but apparently such a large amount of highly radioactive material can be monitored by American spy satellites unless some sophisticated, expensive and also usually observable shielding methods are used to hide it.
The weapons of mass destuction allegation is a standard mass consumption fantasy out of the George W. Bush playbook, and has even been used by a far-right extremist here in Panama to falsely accuse this reporter of attempting to obtain nerve gas over the Internet. After the Iraq debacle it hasn't played so well.
The allegation that bad guys financed Correa's campaign would have special meaning in Colombia, where US claims that former President Ernesto Samper's campaign had been bankrolled by drug lords led to US pressures from the outside and political turmoil in the Colombian legislature that crippled Samper's presidency and marginalized his Liberal Party. But although Washington likes to make pretenses about who and what Álvaro Uribe is, within Colombia he's widely considered to be the son of a drug baron whose own rise to prominence was founded on a cocaine fortune.
And Chávez and Correa talking to FARC about negotiating the release of hostages? That's arguably a violation of Colombian sovereignty and something that would naturally embarrass Uribe, but a lot of Colombians, particularly the families of hostages, wish those efforts well. The killing of Reyes and the allegations against Chávez and Correa were taken by many Colombians as deliberate sabotage of the process by which more hostages could be released and there were large demonstrations in Bogota to protest against this. Uribe also got demonstrations of domestic support for his hard-line "no negotiations" approach to FARC but these were more subdued, maybe because after years of this approach a definitive military victory over the guerrillas appears to be as far away as it ever was.
There ensued a regional crisis, with Ecuador protesting the violation of its sovereignty, Colombia declaring that it has a right to pursue FARC into neighboring countries and both Venezuela and Ecuador sending soldiers to their Colombian borders in response. Hugo Chávez declared that a Colombian intrusion into Venezuela like that attack that killed Reyes would mean war. Nicaragua's Sandinista government loudly took Venezuela's and Ecuador's side.
Armies crossing international boundaries into neighboring countries are not a popular thing in the Americas. Only the United States gave its unconditional backing to Colombia. Before the Organization of American States Ecuador demanded the sending of a fact-finding team, but Colombia and the United States insisted that only mediators be sent. In the end the OAS unanimously passed a mild resolution lamenting the incident.
Officially, Panama's role in the crisis was as a neutral offering its mediation services. Vice President and Foreign Minister Samuel Lewis Navarro insisted that, as Panama is currently presiding over the United Nations Security Council, it's necessary to be even-handed. This brought about protests in this country, particularly from the left but from many other points along the Panamanian political spectrum as well, that Panama can't allow Colombia's claim of a right to invade us or any of its other neighbors in pursuit of rebels to go unopposed. Non-involvement in Colombia's civil wars is, after all, one of the basic premises of Panama's existence as an independent country.
(The Bogota government has invaded Panama on several occasions to attack FARC or its real or alleged backers, but always through paramilitary proxies whose ties to regular forces the Colombian state has always officially denied. Now, however, the main paramilitary proxy, the United Colombian Self-Defense (AUC), has been more or less disbanded and would not be easily reconstituted for cross-border raids. Moreover, that paramilitary force never had the sophisticated equipment that was used to kill Reyes.)
Ecuador's President Rafael Correa visited capitals throughout the region, warning after a 40-minute visit here with Panamanian President Martín Torrijos that "tomorrow it could be Panama." Ecuador, Venezuela and Nicaragua broke diplomatic relations with Colombia. Then Brazil, by way of the all-Latin American Rio Group, brokered a summit in the Dominican Republic.
As that summit Colombia apologized in a fashion, the estranged presidents shook hands and some guarantees were made about Colombia's maritime border between San Andres Island and the coast of Nicaragua. Over the next few days tensions subsided and broken diplomatic relations were restored.
The fallout from the regional crisis has been an increase in the peacemaking reputations of Dominican President Leonel Fernández, Brazilian President Lula da Silva and the Rio Group, at the expense of the prestige of the Panamanian government, the OAS and Washington. Correa is now calling for a new organization of Latin American countries to supplant the roles that the OAS traditionally played.
Within some of the countries involved, Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez has appeared a bit too melodramatic with his saber rattling, Colombian President Álvaro Uribe has appeared internationally weak and isolated within Latin America and Panamanian President Martín Torrijos has appeared inconsequential in foreign affairs.
And as the dust settles, Panama remains in the uncomfortable position of holding FARC prisoners and not having the strength to effectively resist if the Colombian rebels decide to get belligerent about it.

How To Shower

You simply MUST head over to the Doorman-Priest's blog and read this. You won't be sorry!
Woo woo!

Tuesday Miss Bébe, The World's Cutest Granchile™ Blogging

More Lies

When I first read that the Colombians were claiming to have discovered that Hugo Chávez had promised $300,000,000,00 to the FARC, I just figured that it was the usual lies one hears from that bunch. And I wasn't too surprised to see the Washington Post pushing this lie this morning. But I also discovered this article by Greg Palast. I read his book "The Best Democracy Money Can Buy" back in 2004 and enjoyed it. Check out what Mr. Palast says about the Colombian claims:

$300 MILLION FROM CHAVEZ TO FARC A FAKE

Here’s the written evidence
… and - please say it ain’t so! - Obama and Hillary attack Ecuador

Friday, March 6, 2008
By Greg Palast
Do you believe this?
This past weekend, Colombia invaded Ecuador, killed a guerrilla chief in the jungle, opened his laptop – and what did the Colombians find? A message to Hugo Chavez that he sent the FARC guerrillas $300 million – which they’re using to obtain uranium to make a dirty bomb!
That’s what George Bush tells us. And he got that from his buddy, the strange right-wing President of Colombia, Alvaro Uribe.
So: After the fact, Colombia justifies its attempt to provoke a border war as a way to stop the threat of WMDs! Uh, where have we heard that before?
The US press snorted up this line about Chavez’ $300 million to “terrorists” quicker than the young Bush inhaling Colombia’s powdered export.
What the US press did not do is look at the evidence, the email in the magic laptop. (Presumably, the FARC leader’s last words were, “Listen, my password is ….”)
I read them. While you can read it all in español, here is, in translation, the one and only mention of the alleged $300 million from Chavez:
“… With relation to the 300, which from now on we will call “dossier,” efforts are now going forward at the instructions of the boss to the cojo [slang term for ‘cripple’], which I will explain in a separate note. Let’s call the boss Ángel, and the cripple Ernesto.”
Got that? Where is Hugo? Where’s 300 million? And 300 what? Indeed, in context, the note is all about the hostage exchange with the FARC that Chavez was working on at the time (December 23, 2007) at the request of the Colombian government.
Indeed, the entire remainder of the email is all about the mechanism of the hostage exchange. Here’s the next line:
“To receive the three freed ones, Chavez proposes three options: Plan A. Do it to via of a ‘humanitarian caravan’; one that will involve Venezuela, France, the Vatican[?], Switzerland, European Union, democrats [civil society], Argentina, Red Cross, etc.”
As to the 300, I must note that the FARC’s previous prisoner exchange involved 300 prisoners. Is that what the ‘300’ refers to? ¿Quien sabe? Unlike Uribe, Bush and the US press, I won’t guess or make up a phastasmogoric story about Chavez mailing checks to the jungle.
To bolster their case, the Colombians claim, with no evidence whatsoever, that the mysterious “Angel” is the code name for Chavez. But in the memo, Chavez goes by the code name … Chavez.
Well, so what? This is what . . . .
Colombia’s invasion into Ecuador is a rank violation of international law, condemned by every single Latin member of the Organization of American States. But George Bush just loved it. He called Uribe to back Colombia, against, “the continuing assault by narco-terrorists as well as the provocative maneuvers by the regime in Venezuela.”
Well, our President may have gotten the facts ass-backward, but Bush knows what he’s doing: shoring up his last, faltering ally in South America, Uribe, a desperate man in deep political trouble.
Uribe claims he is going to bring charges against Chavez before the International Criminal Court. If Uribe goes there in person, I suggest he take a toothbrush: it was just discovered that right-wing death squads held murder-planning sessions at Uribe’s ranch. Uribe’s associates have been called before the nation’s Supreme Court and may face prison.
In other words, it’s a good time for a desperate Uribe to use that old politico’s wheeze, the threat of war, to drown out accusations of his own criminality. Furthermore, Uribe’s attack literally killed negotiations with FARC by killing FARC’s negotiator, Raul Reyes. Reyes was in talks with both Ecuador and Chavez about another prisoner exchange. Uribe authorized the negotiations. However, Uribe knew, should those talks have succeeded in obtaining the release of those kidnapped by the FARC, credit would have been heaped on Ecuador and Chavez, and discredit heaped on Uribe.
Luckily for a hemisphere on the verge of flames, the President of Ecuador, Raphael Correa, is one of the most level-headed, thoughtful men I’ve ever encountered.
Correa is now flying from Quito to Brazilia to Caracas to keep the region from blowing sky high. While moving troops to his border – no chief of state can permit foreign tanks on their sovereign soil – Correa also refuses sanctuary to the FARC . Indeed, Ecuador has routed out 47 FARC bases, a better track record than Colombia’s own, corrupt military.
For his cool, peaceable handling of the crisis, I will forgive Correa for apologizing for his calling Bush, “a dimwitted President who has done great damage to his country and the world.” (Watch an excerpt of my interview with Correa here.)
Amateur Hour in Blue
We can trust Correa to keep the peace South of the Border. But can we trust our Presidents-to-be?
The current man in the Oval Office, George Bush, simply can’t help himself: an outlaw invasion by a right-wing death-squad promoter is just fine with him.
But guess who couldn’t wait to parrot the Bush line? Hillary Clinton, still explaining that her vote to invade Iraq was not a vote to invade Iraq, issued a statement nearly identical to Bush’s, blessing the invasion of Ecuador as Colombia’s “right to defend itself.” And she added, “Hugo Chávez must stop these provoking actions.” Huh?
I assumed that Obama wouldn’t jump on this landmine – especially after he was blasted as a foreign policy amateur for suggesting he would invade across Pakistan’s border to hunt terrorists.
It’s embarrassing that Barack repeated Hillary’s line nearly verbatim, announcing, “the Colombian government has every right to defend itself.”
(I’m sure Hillary’s position wasn’t influenced by the loan of a campaign jet to her by Frank Giustra. Giustra has given over a hundred million dollars to Bill Clinton projects. Last year, Bill introduced Giustra to Colombia’s Uribe. On the spot, Giustra cut a lucrative deal with Uribe for Colombian oil.)
Then there’s Mr. War Hero. John McCain weighed in with his own idiocies, announcing that, “Hugo Chavez is establish[ing] a dictatorship,” presumably because, unlike George Bush, Chavez counts all the votes in Venezuelan elections.
But now our story gets tricky and icky.
The wise media critic Jeff Cohen told me to watch for the press naming McCain as a foreign policy expert and labeling the Democrats as amateurs. Sure enough, the New York Times, on the news pages Wednesday, called McCain, “a national security pro.”
McCain is the “pro” who said the war in Iraq would cost nearly nothing in lives or treasury dollars.
But, on the Colombian invasion of Ecuador, McCain said, “I hope that tensions will be relaxed, President Chavez will remove those troops from the borders - as well as the Ecuadorians - and relations continue to improve between the two.”
It’s not quite English, but it’s definitely not Bush. And weirdly, it’s definitely not Obama and Clinton cheerleading Colombia’s war on Ecuador.
Democrats, are you listening? The only thing worse than the media attacking Obama and Clinton as amateurs is the Democratic candidates’ frightening desire to prove them right.









Photo from Bartcop.com

Oh Noes! I Be Taggified!

What a morning! I learned that I have been tagged by Grendel, the Misanthropic Dog!

It is the Middle Name meme. Sheesh, my middle name is Garrick.

Here are the rules:
1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. (If you don't have a middle name, use your maiden name or your mother's maiden name).
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag one person (or blogger of another species) for each letter of your middle name. (Be sure to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged.)

1. See above.
2.
G = Guitar; I plays it. Wait, no! G= Gravy. Yeah, I loves it too, Grendel!
A = A+. It's my blood type. I always get the top grade on my blood test.
R = Revdo. I is one.
R = Repeat. Didn't we just do this letter? Okay, R =Rhythm. I played rhythm guitar in A Cruel Hoax.
I = Idealistic. I can be.
C = Cranky. Just drop it.
K = Kidder. I'm a big one.
3. Tag seven peoples, eh? I TAGS Grandmére Mimi, Eileen,the Episcopalifem, Pseudopiskie, The Lovely Wife (not my lovely wife, Rev. Ref+'s lovely wife), Dennis (I hope he has a long, funny middle name!), MikeF., and Kirkepiscatoid.

I Gots An Award!

Dance Party Buddy Paul of Byzigenous Buddhapalian has given me the
Progressive Patriot Award. The award was started by Tomcat at the Politics Plus blog. Tomcat writes:
The mass of men serve the state thus, not as men mainly, but as machines, with their bodies. They are the standing army, and the militia, jailers, constables, posse comitatus, etc. In most cases there is no free exercise whatever of the judgement or of the moral sense; but they put themselves on a level with wood and earth and stones; and wooden men can perhaps be manufactured that will serve the purpose as well. Such command no more respect than men of straw or a lump of dirt. They have the same sort of worth only as horses and dogs. Yet such as these even are commonly esteemed good citizens. Others -- as most legislators, politicians, lawyers, ministers, and office-holders -- serve the state chiefly with their heads; and, as the rarely make any moral distinctions, they are as likely to serve the devil, without intending it, as God. A very few -- as heroes, patriots, martyrs, reformers in the great sense, and men -- serve the state with their consciences also, and so necessarily resist it for the most part; and they are commonly treated as enemies by it.

Faddah Paul dice:

"I am loathe to tag folks for almost any reason and usually decline altogether. I am going to name just one person who, from a bit of a distance, calls the government of the United States to account, holding it to its ideals: Padre Mickey, who blogs from Panamá and is a fellow blogswarm March 19 participant.

Amid the loving descriptions of the communities in which he and his wife, the Lovely Mona, participate, the whimsy and humor that especially shows up in elaborate Friday night presentations, and his erudite postings on early saints, Mickey also comments on the stupidity and evil coming out of DC. The politics show up only occasionally but they are strongly felt."

I gotsta say, this is very kind of Faddah Paul, and I am very honored to receive this.

I want to pass this on to my dear friend and fellow blogger Matty Boy at Lotsa ‘Splainin’ 2Do. When I first met Matty Boy he was a Free-Market Libertarian kinda guy, but he got over that. His political posts are clear, fierce, accurate and true, and he definitely deserves this Progressive Patriot Award.

Quiet Day in Gamboa

Yesterday (International Women's Day) I led a Quiet Day for the Altar Guild and members of the ECW of Parroquia San Cristóbal at St. Simon's in Gamboa. The ECW of IARCA (Iglesia Anglicana en la Región de Centro América) were holding a conference at the diocesan Conference Center in Santa Clara (where we have campamento) and so many of the women who would be with us were in Santa Clara. We had a wonderful time. Our Senior Warden, Mr. Keith Green, drove our bus. We arrived in Gamboa around 9:15 am. We started with morning prayer, had breakfast, and then I led a bible study on the book of Ruth. The majority of the participants had grown up in the former Canal Zone, back during the days of segregation and we compared that to how the Israelites treated the Moabites. We had some great conversations about entering a different culture, comparing leaving the former Canal Zone to live in Panama City. After lunch we discussed hymnody as a form of prayer and then had a hymn sing-a-long. We were back on the bus and on our way home to Rio Abajo and Parque Lefevre by 3:00 pm. Here are some photos.



The early birds get the best seats!


In the bus and on our way


St. Simon's Sign


STRI (Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute) has some set-up across the street from the church.


Bible study


The group


During lunch I saw this big honkin' rhino-beetle. I named it Giganticus! and it posed for me. When we lived in Paraíso these things would fly into the house, but they move slowly and it's easy to swat them out of the way. Giganticus! didn't fly, it just opened its pincers at me.

Who Needs George W. Bush? Not Latin America!

Miraflores Press Office, via Associated Press



We can settle our own disputes!

Diplomatic Crisis Over Colombian Raid Ends in Handshakes
By SIMON ROMERO and JAMES C. McKINLEY Jr.(New York Times)
Published: March 8, 2008
The leaders of four Latin American nations embroiled in a diplomatic crisis over a Colombian military raid in Ecuador ended the dispute on Friday with handshakes and warm embraces at a summit meeting that had earlier been marked by insults and accusations of treachery.
“With the commitment of never attacking a brother country again and by asking forgiveness, we can consider this very serious incident resolved,” said President Rafael Correa of Ecuador, after shaking hands with Colombia’s president, Álvaro Uribe.
Mr. Uribe had started the day accusing Mr. Correa of accepting campaign funds from the leftist rebel group the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, or FARC. Mr. Correa then called Mr. Uribe a serial liar. But by the end of the day at the summit meeting in the Dominican Republic, an annual gathering of Latin leaders, they declared the crisis over.
The dispute erupted after Colombian forces crossed into Ecuador last Saturday to kill Raúl Reyes, a senior commander of the FARC, and 23 others at the guerrillas’ camp in Ecuadorean territory. Ecuador and its leftist allies Nicaragua and Venezuela reacted by cutting diplomatic ties with Colombia, a Bush administration ally.
The resolution of the dispute was spelled out in a bland document criticizing Colombia’s foray into Ecuador while recognizing the need to combat illegal armed groups in the region. But images were broadcast throughout the region of Mr. Uribe, who apologized to Mr. Correa, embracing leaders with whom he exchanged barbs for days.
“Our government only wants peace,” said President Hugo Chávez of Venezuela, who this week had sent 10 tank battalions to Venezuela’s border with Colombia, called Mr. Uribe a mafia boss and threatened to nationalize Colombian companies in Venezuela.
The easing of the crisis came as Colombia’s Defense Ministry said on Friday that a senior commander of the FARC was killed this week by one of his own men.
A FARC deserter informed Colombian security forces of the death of Manuel Jesús Muñoz, better known by his nom de guerre, Iván Ríos, and brought Mr. Muñoz’s severed hand as proof, said Juan Manuel Santos, Colombia’s defense minister.
“This is proof that the FARC is falling apart,” Mr. Santos said.
Mr. Muñoz is the fifth senior member of the FARC killed in the past year.
Ecuadorean officials, meanwhile, announced that at least six Mexicans with links to radical groups in Mexico City were visiting the FARC rebel camp when the Colombians attacked.
One of them, Lucía Morett Álvarez, 27, survived the bombardment and remains hospitalized in Quito, Ecuador’s capital. Mexican intelligence officials say she has a history of participating in radical left-wing political groups on campus, though she is not believed to be a guerrilla.
The fate of the other five remained unknown on Friday, Mexican and Ecuadorean officials said. All six had traveled to Quito to attend a convention of leftist groups and then decided to go to rebel camp on the border.
None are believed to have played a military role, officials said. “These are radical political activists,” one intelligence officer said. “There is a thin but important line between that and guerrillas.”

Friday Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Blogging: ANOTHER Night of Bad Comedy

Red Mr. Peanut Bank I think it’s time to call a truce on the jokes about rabbits, hippos, and cats, etc. We all need to get along.
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! Shrieky-shriek-shriek. ¿Shriek?
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Well of course you can say that, Gallito Mescalito; no one is going to tell any rooster jokes because they're all filthy.
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Yeah, dis is a fambly blog!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, I’m serious. We need to get along better.
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Well, I like telling jokes, especially about you lot.
Mighty Moose of Vermont What if we didn’t tell jokes about each other? What if we had a different target?
¡El Penguino! Yeah! That’s a great idea! What if we told jokes about someone we all know deserves a good ribbin’? Like. . .
Everybody, in one voice PADRE MICKEY!!!
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡SSHHRRIIEEEKKK!!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank That’s not bad at all! I call him! Yoohoo! Padre!


Padre Mickey Dudes! ‘sup?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Good evening, sir. Would you like to hear a joke?
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek?
Padre Mickey Well, I suppose. It’s not about hippos, is it? I’ve heard way too many of those lately.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, no, actually. It’s on a subject closer to home. Er, you do a lot of preaching, right?
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek?
Padre Mickey Yes. Why?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Did you every hear about the time, after the church service a little boy told the priest, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
"Well, thank you," the priest replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Padre Mickey Yes. That’s a pretty old joke.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, then, Christmas was finally over and the Priest's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried."
Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dear," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them."
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡SSHHRRIIEEEKKK!!
Padre Mickey Hmmm. I think the Lovely Mona would like the joke more than I do.
Why don’t you two move along?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, all right. Have a nice evening!
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!


Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Hey Padre, I got a couple for you!
Padre Mickey Well, I hope they’re better than those last two!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love An Episcopal priest delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the usual length of his sermons. He explained, "I regret to inform you that my dog, who is very fond of eating paper, ate that portion of my sermon which I was unable to deliver this morning".
Padre Mickey A good Episcopal priest usually preaches only ten minutes.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Yeah, right. Then why are your sermons usually twelve to thirteen minutes?
Padre Mickey ‘Cuz I’m not a good Episcopal priest, I guess.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Okay, so after the service, a visitor from another church shook hands with the priest and said, "Padre, if that dog of yours has any pups, I want to get one to give to my priest".
Padre Mickey Hahahahaha.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love A boy was watching his father, an Episcopal priest, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
Padre Mickey Boy, you folks are a little hostile about preaching! You’re done. NEXT!


¡El Toro! Hola Padre.
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla Hi, Padre skeek
Padre Mickey Hi, Boys. I suppose you two have some jokes about priests?
¡El Toro! ¡Sí, tenemos!
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla Yeah, we do. skeek A little girl at an Episcopal church on the East coast of the U.S. asked the priest about the white stones in a graveyard. skeek
Padre Mickey What is that noise?
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla What noise? skeek So the priest replied, "That's where all the dead people are." skeek
Padre Mickey What is that noise?
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla I don’t hear anything. Much surprised, the girl asked, "That's heaven?"
¡El Toro! Jajajajaja. ¡Muy divertido!
Padre Mickey That squeak is very annoying! Almost as bad as that joke!
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about. skeek Here’s another one: skeek A young girl once confessed to her priest that she thought she was guilty of the sin of pride. skeek She said, "When I look in the mirror, I think I am beautiful." skeekThe priest said, "That's not a sin, that's a mistake." skeek
Padre Mickey That was terrible! And the squeak is driving me crazy!
¡El Toro! Es verdad. El gorila es muy ruidoso.
Padre Mickey You two are finished. NEXT!
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla Bye! skeek
¡El Toro! ¡Hasta luego!
Padre Mickey Not if I see you first!



Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Hey dere, Padre! Love da beahd!
Padre Mickey Thanks. Gimme yer worst, cat!
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Very well, den! Tree boys ah in da schoolyahd braggin’ ‘bout dere faddahs. Da fioist boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few woids on a piece a paper, he calls it a poem, dey gives him fitty dollahs."
Padre Mickey Okay.
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Da second boy says, "Da's nuttin. My Dad scribbles a few woids on a piece a paper, he calls it a song, dey give him a hunnerd dollahs."
Padre Mickey Uh huh.
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Da toid boy says, "I got you bote beat. My Dad scribbles a few woids on a piece a paper, he calls it a soimon and it takes eight people ta collect all da money!"
Padre Mickey HAHAHAHAHA! That’s pretty funny! Except only guys like Don Armstrong pull in that kind of money for a sermon. Thanks, cat! That was actually quite good!
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy See ya ‘round, den, Padre!



Padre Mickey Hello, Mighty Moose of Vermont. And how can I help you?
The Mighty Moose of Vermont I have a joke, Padre.
Padre Mickey Watcha got, Moose? I kin take it!
The Mighty Moose of Vermont An Episcopal priest is driving home from a sick visit, when he looks in his rear-view mirror and sees an obviously intoxicated driver in the car behind him. The priest continues driving, watching the other driver in his mirror, when he misses a turn and drives in to a ditch. As the priest comes out of his damaged car, the drunk stops his car, opens his window and says, "Father, are you all right?" The priest answers, "Yes, son; God is with me!" The drunk responds, "Well, you better let him ride with me; you're gonna kill him!"
Padre Mickey Very good! I’ve always loved that one! NEXT!



Padre Mickey Ah, el Penguino. And I suppose you have a joke to tell?
¡El Penguino! Yes, I do, Padre. And it’s a good one.
Padre Mickey Well, I’ll be the judge of that. Let’s hear it.
¡El Penguino! A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven. An Episcopal priest is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the priest’s entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, “Okay, we’ll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff.” The priest is astonished and replies, “But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely, I rate higher than a cabby.” St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: “Here we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed.”
Padre Mickey Hmmmm. Gotta ‘nuther one?
¡El Penguino! Well, let’s try this one: Three Episcopal priests in Panamá were having lunch at a Fonda. One of them said, "You know, since verano started I've been having trouble with them flying bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything, but nothing seems to scare them off. Another priest said "Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away!" The third priest said, "I baptized all mine, made them members of the church, and they haven't seen one back since!"
Padre Mickey Well, it’s good, but I’ve heard several times. Who’s next?



Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Hey Padre, my ol’ fren, ‘sup wit choooo?
Padre Mickey Sheesh, Bunrab; when did you start talking like that?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Sorry!
Padre Mickey Man! You’re gettin skinnier and more torn up every day! Still Chompita’s favorite?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Yes, unfortunately!
Padre Mickey Well, I think we’ve run this into the ground. What have you got?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Okay! Here it goes: An Episcopal priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
Music Bwah bwah bwaaaaahhh.



This evening’s episode was directed by Señorita Chompita Wiggletail, seen here explaining the actors’ motivation

Friday Random Top Ten

Ya pushes "shuffle" and ya takes yer chances. . .

1. You Don't Know The 13th Floor Elevators
2. With All My Might Sparks
3. Particle Man They Might Be Giants
4. Precious Memories Emmylou Harris
5. Hymn, Vexilla Regis Prodeunt Westminister Abbey Choir/Abbey Consort- Martin Neary
6. I Am A Child Neil Young
7. O Maria Piissima (Jean Mouton) Theatre of Voices
8. Physical (You're So) Adam and the Ants
9. Pyramid Song Radiohead
10. There She Goes Again The Velvet Underground

Man, that Sparks song is terrible, even for a Sparks song! I was not in the mood to hear "Particle Man" or "I Am A Child" either, for that matter. Vexilla Regis Prodeunt is a perfect hymn for a Friday in Lent, but the Adam and the Ants song is not worth hearing at any time of year. Thank God for Radiohead and the Velvet Underground!

I think it's time to go through the iTunes and do some editing. . .

Perpetua's Account

Perpetua's account of her visions while in prison are one of the earliest pieces of writing by a Christian woman

3. When, she said, we were still under legal surveillance and my father was liked to vex me with his words and continually strove to hurt my faith because of his love: Father, said I, Do you see (for examples) this vessel lying, a pitcher or whatsoever it may be? And he said, I see it. And I said to him, Can it be called by any other name than that which it is? And he answered, No. So can I call myself nought other than that which I am, a Christian.

Then my father angry with this word came upon me to tear out my eyes; but he only vexed me, and he departed vanquished, he and the arguments of the devil. Then because I was without my father for a few days I gave thanks unto the Lord; and I was comforted because of his absence. In this same space of a few days we were baptised, and the Spirit declared to me, I must pray for nothing else after that water save only endurance of the flesh. After a few days we were taken into prison, and I was much afraid because I had never known such darkness. O bitter day! There was a great heat because of the press, there was cruel handling of the soldiers. Lastly I was tormented there by care for the child.

Then Tertius and Pomponius, the blessed deacons who ministered to us, obtained with money that for a few hours we should be taken forth to a better part of the prison and be refreshed. Then all of them going out from the dungeon took their pleasure; I suckled my child that was now faint with hunger. And being careful for him, I spoke to my mother and strengthened my brother and commended my son unto them. I pined because I saw they pined for my sake. Such cares I suffered for many days; and I obtained that the child should abide with me in prison; and straightway I became well and was lightened of my labour and care for the child; and suddenly the prison was made a palace for me, so that I would sooner be there than anywhere else.

4. Then said my brother to me: Lady my sister, you are now in high honor, even such that you might ask for a vision; and it should be shown you whether this be a passion or else a deliverance. And I, as knowing that I conversed with the Lord, for Whose sake I had suffered such things, did promise him nothing doubting; and I said: Tomorrow I will tell you. And I asked, and this was shown me.

I beheld a ladder of bronze, marvelously great, reaching up to heaven; and it was narrow, so that not more than one might go up at one time. And in the sides of the ladder were planted all manner of things of iron. There were swords there, spears, hooks, and knives; so that if any that went up took not good heed or looked not upward, he would be torn and his flesh cling to the iron. And there was right at the ladder's foot a serpent lying, marvelously great, which lay in wait for those that would go up, and frightened them that they might not go up. Now Saturus went up first (who afterwards had of his own free will given up himself for our -sakes, because it was he who had edified us; and when we were taken he had not been there). And he came to the ladder's head; and he turned and said: Perpetua, I await you; but see that serpent bite you not. And I said: it shall not hurt me, in the name of Jesus Christ. And from beneath the ladder, as though it feared me, it softly put forth its head; and as though I trod on the first step I trod on its head. And I went up, and I saw a very great space of garden, and in the midst a man sitting, white-headed, in shepherd's clothing, tall milking his sheep; and standing around in white were many thousands. And he raised his head and beheld me and said to me: Welcome, child. And he cried to me, and from the curd he had from the milk he gave me as it were a morsel; and I took it with joined hands and ate it up; and all that stood around said, Amen. And at the sound of that word I awoke, yet eating I know not what of sweet.

And at once I told my brother, and we knew it should be a passion; and we began to have no hope any longer in this world.

5. A few days after, the report went abroad that we were to be tried. Also my father returned from the city spent with weariness; and he came up to me to cast down my faith saying: Have pity, daughter, on my grey hairs; have pity on your father, if I am worthy to be, called father by you; if with these hands I have brought you unto this flower of youth- and I-have preferred you before all your brothers; give me not over to the reproach of men. Look upon your brothers; look upon your mother and mother's sister; look upon your son, who will not endure to live after you. Give up your resolution; do not destroy us all together; for none of us will speak openly against men again if you suffer aught.

This he said fatherly in his love, kissing my hands and grovelling at my feet; and with tears he named me, not daughter, but lady. And I was grieved for my father's case because he would not rejoice at my passion out of all my kin; and I comforted him, saying: That shall be done at this tribunal, whatsoever God shall please; for know that we are not established in our own power, but in God's. And he went from me very sorrowful.

6. Another day as we were at meal we were suddenly snatched away to be tried; and we came to the forum. Therewith a report spread abroad through the parts near to the forum, and a very great multitude gathered together. We went up to the tribunal. The others being asked, confessed. So they came to me. And my father appeared there also, with my son, and would draw me from the step, saying: Perform the Sacrifice; have mercy on the child. And Hilarian the procurator - he that after the death of Minucius Timinian the proconsul had received in his room the right and power of the sword - said: Spare your father's grey hairs; spare the infancy of the boy. Make sacrifice for the Emperors' prosperity. And I answered: I am a Christian. And when my father stood by me yet to cast down my faith, he was bidden by Hilarian to be cast down and was smitten with a rod. And I sorrowed for my father's harm as though I had been smitten myself; so sorrowed I for his unhappy old age. Then Hilarian passed sentence upon us all and condemned us to the beasts; and cheerfully we went down to the dungeon. Then because my child had been used to being breastfed and to staying with me in the prison, straightway I sent Pomponius the deacon to my father, asking for the child. But my father would not give him. And as God willed, no longer did he need to be suckled, nor did I take fever; that I might not be tormented by care for the child and by the pain of my breasts.

7. A few days after, while we were all praying, suddenly in the midst of the prayer I uttered a word and named Dinocrates; and I was amazed because he had never come into my mind save then; and I sorrowed, remembering his fate. And straightway I knew that I was worthy, and that I ought to ask for him. And I began to pray for him long, and to groan unto the Lord. Immediately the same night, this was shown me.

I beheld Dinocrates coming forth from a dark place, where were many others also; being both hot and thirsty, his raiment foul, his color pale; and the wound on his face which he had when he died. This Dinocrates had been my brother in the flesh, seven years old, who being diseased with ulcers of the face had come to a horrible death, so that his death was abominated of all men. For him therefore I had made my prayer; and between him and me was a great gulf, so that either might not go to the other. There was moreover, in the same place where Dinocrates was, a font full of water, having its edge higher than was the boy's stature; and Dinocrates stretched up as though to drink. I was sorry that the font had water in it, and yet for the height of the edge he might not drink.

And I awoke, and I knew that my brother was in travail. Yet I was confident I should ease his travail; and I prayed for him every day till we passed over into the camp prison. (For it was in the camp games that we were to fight; and the time was the feast of the Emperor Geta's birthday.) And I prayed for him day and night with groans and tears, that he might be given me.

8. On the day when we abode in the stocks, this was shown me.

I saw that place which I had before seen, and Dinocrates clean of body, finely clothed, in comfort; and the font I had seen before, the edge of it being drawn to the boy's navel; and he drew water thence which flowed without ceasing. And on the edge was a golden cup full of water; and Dinocrates came up and began to drink therefrom; which cup failed not. And being satisfied he departed away from the water and began to play as children will, joyfully.

And I awoke. Then I understood that he was translated from his pains.

9. Then a few days after, Pudens the adjutant, in whose charge the prison was, who also began to magnify us because he understood that there was much grace in us, let in many to us that both we and they in turn might be comforted. Now when the day of the games drew near, there came in my father to me , spent with weariness, and began to pluck out his beard and throw it on e ground and to fall on his face cursing his years and saying such words as might move all creation. I was grieved for his unhappy old age.

10. The day before we fought, I saw in a vision that Pomponius the deacon had come hither to the door of the prison, and knocked hard upon it. And I went out to him and opened to him; he was clothed in a white robe ungirdled, having shoes curiously wrought. And he said to me: Perpetua, we await you; come. And he took my hand, and we began to go through rugged and winding places. At last with much breathing hard we came to the amphitheatre, and he led me into the midst of the arena. And he said to me: Be not afraid; I am here with you and labour together with you. And he went away. And I saw much people watching closely. And because I knew that I was condemned to the beasts I marvelled that beasts were not sent out against me. And there came out against me a certain ill-favored Egyptian with his helpers, to fight with me. Also there came to me comely young men, my helpers and aiders. And I was stripped naked, and I became a man. And my helpers began to rub me with oil as their custom is for a contest; and over against me saw that Egyptian wallowing in the dust. And there came forth a man of very great stature, so that he overpassed the very top of the amphitheatre, wearing a robe ungirdled, and beneath it between the two stripes over the breast a robe of purple; having also shoes curiously wrought in gold and silver; bearing a rod like a master of gladiators, and a green branch whereon were golden apples. And he besought silence and said: The Egyptian, if shall conquer this woman, shall slay her with the sword; and if she shall conquer him, she shall receive this branch. And he went away. And we came nigh to each other, and began to buffet one another. He tried to trip up my feet, but I with my heels smote upon his face. And I rose up into the air and began so to smite him as though I trod not the earth. But when I saw that there was yet delay, I joined my hands, setting finger against finger of them. And I caught his head, and he fell upon his face; and I trod upon his head. And the people began to shout, and my helpers began to sing. And I went up to the master of gladiators and received the branch. And he kissed me and said to me: Daughter, peace be with you. And I began to go with glory to the gate called the Gate of Life.

And I awoke; and I understood that I should fight, not with beasts but against the devil; but I knew that mine was the victory.

Thus far I have written this, till the day before the games; but the deed of the games themselves let him write who will.

Feast of Perpetua and Her Companions, Martyrs in Carthage

O God the King of saints, you strengthened your servants Perpetua and Felicitas and their companions to make a good confession, staunchly resisting, for the cause of Christ, the claims of human affection, and encouraging one another in their time of trial: Grant that we who cherish their blessed memory may share their pure and steadfast faith, and win with them the palm of victory; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.


Today is the Feast of Saint Perpetua and her companions, Felicitas, Revocatus, Secundulus, Saturninus, and Saturas. They all lived in the city of Carthage, in North Africa, during the late second-early third century. Vibia Perpetua was a young, relatively well-off young widow with an infant. Felicitas and Revocatus were her slaves, but these three, with Secundulus and Saturninus, were catechumens, people studying in preparation for baptism, under the care of the priest Saturas. In those days people who wanted to be baptized had to study for three years. They were also watched closely during that period to make sure that they were sincere about their desire to become Christians, that they had begun to live a moral life, and to make sure that they were not sent to spy upon and betray the Christians to the government. Once a person had finished their three years in the catechumenate, they were baptized at the Easter Vigil.

In the year 202, the Emperor Septimius Severus decreed that there would be no more conversions to Christianity and that everyone must sacrifice to the divinity of the emperor. This required a person to take a little incense and drop it into the sacrificial fire in front of the government priests. Since Christians only believe in the divinity of Christ, they could not and would not participate. Perpetua and her companions were all arrested and put into prison. The conditions in these prisons were terrible and the only way one was fed was if family or friends brought the prisoner food. Visiting prisoners was a very important aspect of being a Christian in those days; Jesus said that when we visit prisoners in his name, we are visiting him, and this was taken seriously by the Christians of that era. Many Christians were being arrested because of their faith, and this had been happening since the earliest days; St. Paul, St. Peter, and almost all of the apostles had spent some time in prison, and St. John was even exiled on the island of Patmos for a while. Not only the leaders of the Church were imprisoned; people like Perpetua, a nursing mother, were locked in filthy cells with shackles on their ankles simply for desiring to be baptized. The martyrs and confessors went to prison willingly rather than betray their faith. in the Letter to the Hebrews, we read: “Recall the former days when you endured a hard struggle with sufferings, sometimes being publicly exposed to abuse and affliction, and sometimes being partners with those so treated... For you have need of endurance, so that you may do the will of God and receive what is promised.” These people were spiritual athletes, and they endured these terrible trials for the sake of their faith.


When Perpetua was brought before the Proconsul, she refused to sacrifice to the Emperor and she refused to deny Christ. Her father came and begged her to think of what she was doing; he begged her to think of her little baby, to think of her family name. Here she was, a well-born woman, spending her time with slaves and others. Here she was, a nursing mother, imprisoned with her baby. Here she was, bringing great shame upon her family; all she had to do was offer a little incense to the divinity of the Emperor and denounce this “Christ” and his followers and everything would be all right. But Perpetua would not turn against Christ and the Christian faith. She stood before the Proconsul and her father and said, “I am a Christian.” The Proconsul finally let her father take the baby home with him, and Perpetua was returned to the dungeon. Perpetua and her companions were Montanists, a group who believed strongly in the direction of the Holy Spirit and were given to visions and prophecy. Perpetua experienced several dreams and visions in prison. She dreamed that she climbed a ladder to heaven, to a garden in which she saw those who were martyred before her. She had a vision in which her brother, who had died of cancer, appeared to her healthy and drinking of the water of life; and she also dreamed that she was a warrior, that she became a man and fought the Devil, defeating him to enter heaven. After that last dream, she awoke understanding that she was to fight in the arena, not with the wild beasts, but with the Devil himself.


On the day of March 7, 202, Perpetua and Felicitas, Revocatus, Secundulus, Saturninus, and Saturas, encouraging one another to be brave before whatever pain they may suffer and before whatever awaited them, were led to the arena. There, wild beasts were unlashed upon them: a leopard, a wild boar, a bear, and even a wild steer attacked and mangled them. The steer tossed Perpetua and Felicitas about with its sharp horns but although they were bruised and dishevelled, they held up. Perpetua didn’t even know that she was being tossed about; like so many martyrs, she was in a state of spiritual ecstasy and she cried to the others: “Stand fast in the faith and love of one another. And do not let what we suffer be a stumbling block to you.” Eventually her five companions were killed by the beasts, but Perpetua was still alive. The animals were tired, the crowd’s bloodlust was sated, yet she was still alive. A soldier with a sword was sent to finish her off, but he was inept and unsure and his first blow merely pierced her throat between the bones, leaving her alive. She shrieked with pain, and then took the blade with her hands and guided the sword into her heart. The report of her martyrdom ends: “Perhaps so great a woman, feared by the unclean spirit, could not have been killed unless she so willed it.”

The memory of Perpetua was very important to the Christians in Carthage, and to all the Christians in Africa. The story of her martyrdom infused the African Church with much vigor and it was one of the strongest and most enthusiastic of all the churches in the first five centuries.


In the reading we heard from Matthew’s gospel this morning, Jesus warned the Twleve of the trials to come, but these trials were also experienced, not just by the Twelve, but by regular people like you and I. Jesus said, “They will deliver you up to the tribulation, and put you to death; and you will be hated by all nations for my name’s sake.” The martyrs of the first three centuries and in the centuries to come all experienced these things. Jesus also warned: “Many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray.” This was the experience of the Early Church and it is also the experience of Christians today. We need to be aware fo false teachings like the Prosperity Gospel and we need to be aware of those who create dissent and schism instead of unity and love. Jesus also said, “Those who endure to the end will be saved. And this gospel will be preached throughout the whole world, as a testimony to all nations.” Perpetua and Felicitas and their companions endured tot he end, and in just over one hundred years after their deaths, the Emperor Constantine declared tolerance for Christianity and the persecutions in the empire ended. With the backing of the Roman Empire, the Gospel of the Christ spread throughout what they considered the world, and then continued to spread, day after day, year after year, century after century, until it spread even to the Americas, to this isthmus, a world of which Perpetua, Constantine, and the Apostles had no idea even existed. And now, some eighteen hundred years later, we sit here in a church in Parque Lefevre in the Republic of Panamá, hearing the story of the bravery of Perpetua and her companions, sharing the bread and wine as the Christians of her time did, coming together to pray and sing and heal, just as they did. The faithful witness of the martyrs, of people like Perpetua and the others, have made it possible for us to hear the Good News, have made it possible for us to learn of salvation, have made it possible for us to have eternal life. May we all share the bravery and faithfulness of Perpetua, Felicitas, Revocatus, Secundulus, Saturninus, Saturas, and all the martyrs.

Hey! I Never Noticed THAT Before!

I'm doing a talk on Biblical Concepts of Hospitality tomorrow night, and was reading Genesis 18:1-8. After reading verse 8, I realized Abraham was serving dairy and meat together. Lucky for him the Torah had not been handed down yet! Now, according to the story, the Lord was one of the three men visiting Abraham, which means the Lord had meat and dairy together, which would eventually be against the rules. Much later, things evolved to the point where Observant Jews have separate plates for meat and separate plates for dairy and they can't even be kept in the same cupboard, let alone serve meat and dairy at the same time. I wonder what changed the Lord's mind? Oh yeah, it was that popular Cananite dish "Kid Boiled In Its Mother's Milk." Now I understand. As you were.

YIPEE!

According to the neo-pod on the lower right, Padre Mickey's Dance Party has had visitors from 100 countries from the time I installed that widget until today. Only 94 to 95 more countries to go!

What It's All About

pabloONpolitics.com

Heterosexual Questionnaire

I nicked this from Inarticulate Fumblings, but the photo was my idea


This questionnaire is for self-avowed heterosexuals only. If you are not openly heterosexual, pass it on to a friend who is. Please try to answer the questions as candidly as possible. Your responses will be held in strict confidence and you anonymity fully protected.

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible your heterosexuality is just a phase you may grow out of?

4. Could it be that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?

6. Why do heterosexuals feel compelled to seduce others into their lifestyle?

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

8. Would you want your children to be heterosexual, knowing the problems they'd face?

9. With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

10. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

11. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you fear s/he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of her/his learnings?

12. Heterosexuals are notorious for assigning themselves and one another rigid, stereotyped sex roles. Why must you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?

13. Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous?

14. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to. After all, you never deliberately chose to be heterosexual, did you? Have you considered aversion therapy or Heterosexuals Anonymous?

Please answer in the Comments Section
I don't think Victor and my Seminary Default answers of "uh, God?" "uh, Jesus?" or "uh, the Bible?" will quite work here.

Hogar de Niñas

Last week I went to the Hogar de Niñas and worked with Estefani. She and I read Disney´s “Encantada.” I had never heard of it when I bought the book several weeks ago. I have since learned it’s a movie from which two songs were nominated Academy Awards. I think in English it’s called Enchanted. Well, I’m not really up on pop culture in the US right now.

It was pretty long for Estefani, but she wanted the read the whole book. Because it took so long, I got out the coloring books when she finished reading. That attracted the attention of Carla and Avelia. So here’s pictures of the girls coloring. But first, a picture of two girls playing Jacks, my favorite game at their age.

Tía Sue Is Back!

Tía Sue, our fellow TEC missionary here in Panamá, is blogging again. She has some great photos of her trip to Bocas del Toro with Graciela, one of the girls at the home. Tía Sue had surgery in January and has been recovering but is back at it now. Go check out her blog.

Prayer Request

Our favorite drummer, Ricardo "Ricky" Staple, (seen here with Dino Nugent) has been in the hospital for the past few weeks. He and his wife, Marion, were at the hospital as she was having some blood pressure problems. While they were there, Ricky became dizzy, so they checked him out and immediately admitted them both (they were sharing a room!). Marion is home and doing well, but Ricky had surgery late last week to remove fluid from around his heart and on his brain. I visited him the other day and he's recovering, but he doesn't know how much longer he'll be in the hospital. Please pray for the Staples and their health.

Sunday School Trip

Today was the Escuela Dominical de Parroquia San Cristóbal summer trip. School starts in a couple of weeks and the kids are squeezing every last bit of fun before they return to those uniforms and book bags. I led the group in Morning Prayer and Bernie Murray and I supplied the music. They went to Coronado, a beach town in the province of Coclé, about an hour from the city and close to the diocesan camp. They went to the house where the Lovley Mona, Chompy and I vacation. I'm sure they had a great time.


La Escuela Dominical de Parroquia San Cristóbal


Finding a seat on the bus.

Which Church Father Are You?

Well, it does make sense.

You’re St. Melito of Sardis! You have a great love of history and liturgy. You’re attached to the traditions of the ancients, yet you recognize that the old world — great as it was — is passing away. You are loyal to the customs of your family, though you do not hesitate to call family members to account for their sins. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

Thanks to the Revda. Jane Ellen at Hoosier Musings in Big Sky Country