Friday, October 23, 2009

Friday Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Blogging

Our Contribution to the Health Care Debate!


Red Mr. Peanut Bank What is the difference between God and an orthopedic surgeon?
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank God doesn’t think he is an orthopedic surgeon. Ha ha ha!
Gallito Mescalito ¡Snort!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Quite funny, if I say so myself! Here's another one: Why did the guru refuse Novocaine when he went to his dentist?
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank He wanted to transcend dental medication. Ho ho ho!
Okay, now just one more: What is the difference between an HMO and a car battery?
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank The battery has a positive side! HA! A real knee-slapper, eh?
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡Sshhrrrriiieeekk!!


¡El Penguino! Doctor, Doctor, I broke my arm in two places!
Doctor Lil' Jesus Stay out of them places!
¡El Penguino! My tongue tingles when I touch it to a cracked walnut wrapped in used toaster oven aluminum foil, what’s wrong with me?
Doctor Lil' Jesus You have far too much free time.
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡Sshhrrrriiieeekk!!


Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love One fella walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Den wut happint?
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Well, fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history, and told him to wait in an examining room.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy DEN wut happint?
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Well, a half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said "Shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Geez, I knows how dat is. DEN wut happint?
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Well, an hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor said, "Where?" He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Cripes!
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡Sshhrrrriiieeekk!!



Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?
HMO Crocagator Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?
HMO Crocagator You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House What if I'm away from home and I get sick?
HMO Crocagator You really shouldn't do that. You know, you really don't look the same, Bunrab. You don't even look like a rabbit!
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Think Darrin on Bewitched or Dr. Who!
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡Sshhrrrriiieeekk!!



Mighty Moose of Vermont Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when they're met at the pearly gates by St. Peter.
Fuzzy Southern Mountain Moose Okaaay
Mighty Moose of Vermont St. Peter asks the Doctor "what did you do on Earth?" The Doctor replied, "I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free." St. Peter told the Doctor, "You may go enter."
Fuzzy Southern Mountain Moose Tha's nahse!
Mighty Moose of Vermont St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, "I taught educationally challenged children." St. Peter then told her "You, too, may enter."
Fuzzy Southern Mountain Moose Wehyull, of coase! Theyun whut happyined?
Mighty Moose of Vermont Well, St. Peter asked the third man, "What did you do?" The man hung his head and replied, "I ran a large HMO." To which St. Peter replied, "You may go in, but you can only stay 3 days!"
Fuzzy Southern Mountain Moose Oh mah!
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡Sshhrrrriiieeekk!!



Crocagator Okay, okay, I've got one: A woman was having a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So she called the doctor one morning and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering." "Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down and payments of $450 for 24 months, plus payments for extras." "My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "it sounds like leasing a new sports car!" "Hmmm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"
Everyone Groan!


Red Mr. Peanut Bank I, too, have another joke: One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor said, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, "Jeez Doc, exactly what is my problem?" The doctor replied, "You're not drinking enough water."
Everyone YOU NEED TO DRINK MORE WATER! HA HA!



Gallito Mescalito ¡¡¡SSSHHRRRRIIIIIIIIEEEEEEKKK!!!

4 comments:

whiteycat4104 said...

Thanks for the humor, Padre Mickey! Gallito Mescalito's responses are perfect!!!

Tia Sue said...

It got someout loud laughs from me! Thanks

PseudoPiskie said...

They provided me with a few pieces to send to the person who requested a joke a day. Thanks.

susan s. said...

Thanks, Padre. They wus funny!

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