Once more the World Wide Anglican Communion has provided us with the story for Friday Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Blogging.
AMiA and CANA have their own missionary bishops, the bishop of Bolivia and the bishop of Argentina have been sweeping up parishes in the U.S. and Brasil, and now ACK (!) wants to get in on the act. Well, we of The Real Live Orthodox Episcopal Anglican Protestant Catholic Pentecostal Evangelical Fundamentalist Christian Church of All the Americas and Actually the Entire Globe; Yeah, that's Right, We Include the Global South, the Global North AND the Global Center, So Where Else Ya Gonna Go? also known as the RLOEAPCPEFCCAAAEGYRWIGSGNAGCSWEYGG or The True, Really, I Mean It, Church™ are not going to miss out on establishing our own franchise! We have heard the cries of the faithful throughout the world, begging us to come and save them from perhaps having to meet someone with a different theological understanding or with icky personal practices, and we can not remain deaf to their pleas! Our Primados (Photo 1), His Most Shriekiness, the Rt. Rev. Gallito Mescalito, and His Holiness, the Rt. Rev. Red Mr. Peanut Bank, Bishop of All Legumes and Vegetables, in their infinite wisdom, have realized that
His Holiness, the Rt. Rev. Red Mr. Peanut Bank, Bishop of All Legumes and Vegetables, explains it in this way: "The Lord calls everyone to repentance and to inclusion in God's Church. However, there are some folks one simply doesn't want to be seen with. Did you know that there are people in the United States who voted for George W. Bush and have yet to repent for this? There are even some who are proud of having voted for Ronald Reagan and have yet to repent for that!! Do you want unrepentant folks like that sitting next to you in church? I don't think so! The True Gospel of Relative Inclusion allows such people into our congregations, but we are ordered to shun them during Coffee Hour."
Let's meet the new Missionary Bishops of the RLOEAPCPEFCCAAAEGYRWIGSGNAGCSWEYGG:
Photo 2 The Rt. Rev. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy, Missionary Bishop to West Africa.
Photo 3 The Rt. Rev. Egyptian Hippo of Love, Missionary Bishop to Central Africa.
Photo 4 The Rt. Rev. Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House, Missionary Bishop to North America And Points Beyond, with a Very Special Mission to Virginia.
Photo 5 The Rt. Rev. Wooden Kuna Doll, Missionary Bishop to the Southern Cone and Las Malivinas, with a Very Special Mission to Bolivia and Argentina.
Photo 6 The Rt. Rev. Diablito Sucio, Missionary Bishop to Singapore and All Asia
Photo 7 The Rt. Rev. Señor Cantinero and the Rt. Rev. Señor Manantial, (Las Gamelas) Missionary Bishops to Western Europe and Eastern Europe, respectively.
Photo 8 Another Group Of Bishops Not Going To Lambeth!
As always, anyone can become a Major Player in our Church, with whatever title one desires, simply by presenting our Primados with a Certified Cheque for only $500,000.00 (U.S.), made out to Christ's Anglican Safe Haven, or CASH. Remember, We Are The True, Really, I Mean It, Church™