Padre Mickey invites you to Join Us! JOIN US!!!!

Dear Bishop or Rector,
Are you a Bishop up for presentment by TEC? Are you a Rector accused of some sort of monkey-business with parish funding? Are you a member of a major dissenting organization? Are they oppressing you because of your adherence to the teachings of the orthodox so-called? Are you ready to practice the new Anglican tradition of jumping ship just before charges are presented? Why go to the Southern Cone or Nigeria or even Rwanda, when you and your congregation can join the Real Live Orthodox Episcopal Anglican Protestant Catholic Pentecostal Evangelical Fundamentalist Christian Church of All the Americas and Actually the Entire Globe; Yeah, that's Right, We Include the Global South, the Global North AND the Global Center, So Where Else Ya Gonna Go? also known as the RLOEAPCPEFCCAAAEGYRWIGSGNAGCSWEYGG or The True, Really, I Mean It, Church™?
We are the true Virtual Church of the Twenty-first Century and the latest Province of the Anglican Communion. Let's face it; the Church of Nigeria, The Southern Cone, Rwanda, East Asia, are going to start making up for lost time and make sure you pay for the sins of your White Ancestors as soon as they've kicked TEC out of the Anglican Communion and shackled ++Rowan Cantaur in caves of methane ice in dungeons deep below Lambeth Palace. But we at The True, Really, I Mean It, Church(RLOEAPCPEFCCAAAEGYRWIGSGNAGCSWEYGG) don't care what you think as long as you pay our initiation fee (only $500,000.00 U.S. in a certified cheque made out to Christ's Anglican Safe Haven, or CASH)!

The True, Really, I Mean It, Church will give you whatever title you crave as long as you declare obedience to our leaders:

His Most Shriekiness the Rt. Rev. Gallito Mescalito

His Holiness the Rt. Rev. Red Mr. Peanut Bank, Bishop of All Legumes and Vegetables

The Decreasingly Reverend Yet Increasingly Transparent and Holy Ghostliness Padre Mickey de Panamá Pictured here with the St. Macrina Consecrated Virgins and True Church™ Liturgical Dancers

and pay our initiation fee (only $500,000.00 U.S. in a certified cheque made out to Christ's Anglican Safe Haven, or CASH)!


What Can The True, Really, I Mean It, Church Offer You, the Bishop or Rector on the Lam?
We are a small, impoverished province with only five house churches and a magnificent cathedral. However, you can teach whatever claptrap you want and give yourself whatever impressive title you desire, as long as you declare obedience to our primados (see above) and pay our initiation fee of $500,000.00 U.S.. We do have more "legal parishes" than the so-called Northern Deanery of the Diocese of Bolivia!


The House Church of the Most Holy Martyrs Perpetua and her Companions

The House Church of St. Origen of Caeserea


The House Church of St. Simon Stylites on the Pillars

The House Church of St. Donatus the African Hardliner

The House Church of St. Hippolytus the First Prayerbook Crank
The Cathedral of the Most Blessed Saints Montanus, Maximilla and Priscilla

Beliefs of the The True, Really, I Mean I, Church™ (RLOEAPCPEFCCAAAEGYRWIGSGNAGCSWEYGG)

We believe in the Apostle's and Nicene Creeds
We believe the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments to be the Inspired Word of God
We believe in the use of Icons as long as they are a part of Public Transportation



We believe that liturgy is the Work of the People and should reflect their piety, resulting in some very experimental liturgy

We believe that God cares about the shoes of God's Children, especially those of Mickey D. (also known as The Decreasingly Reverend Yet Increasingly Transparent and Holy Ghostliness Padre Mickey de Panamá).

We believe in ordination to Holy Orders to all who are called or "have it."

We believe that Jesus loves guns

We welcome all who believe in either Evolution or Creationism


We believe in Hedgehog Meditiation

We believe in Maosim

We believe that God loves all God's GLBT children and calls some to Holy Orders. If you don't agree, we'll still let you come to the Holy Table, but will think that you are lacking somewhat in the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Actually, all our beliefs are summed up in this hymn by our best hymn-writers, the Buzzcocks:


In these times of contention it's not my intention to make things plain
I'm looking through mirrors to catch the reflection that can't be mine
I'm losing control now I'll just have to slow down a thought or two
I can't feel the future and I'm not even certain that there is a past

I believe in the worker's revolution
And I believe in the final solution
I believe in
I believe in
I believe in the shape of things to come
And I believe in I'm not the only one
Yes I believe in
I believe in

When I poison my system I take thoughts and twist them into shapes
I'm reaching my nadir and I haven't an idea of what to do
I'm painting by numbers but can't find the colours that fill you in
I'm not even knowing if I'm coming or going if to end or begin

I believe in the immaculate conception
And I believe in the resurrection
And I believe in
I believe in
I believe in the elixir of youth
And I believe in the absolute truth
Yes I believe in
I believe in

There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore

I've fallen from favour while trying to savour experience
I'm seeing things clearly but it has quite nearly blown my mind
It's the aim of existence to offer resistance to the flow of time
Everything is and that is why it is will be the line

I believe in perpetual motion
And I believe in perfect devotion
I believe in
I believe in
I believe in the things I've never had
I believe in my Mum and my Dad
And I believe in
I believe in

There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore

I'm skippin' the pages of a book that takes ages for the foreword to end
Triangular cover concealing another aspect from view
My relative motion is just an illusion from stopping too fast
The essence of being these feelings I'm feeling I just want them to last

I believe in original sin
And I believe what I believe in
Yes I believe in
I believe in
I believe in the web of fate
And I believe in I'm going to be late
So I'll be leavin'
What I believe in

There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore
There is no love in this world anymore

So, what are you waiting for? All other churches are under the control of His Satanic Majesty™ or the Republican Party (usually both groups at once, since they are so closely connected).

Join the Real Live Orthodox Episcopal Anglican Protestant Catholic Pentecostal Evangelical Fundamentalist Christian Church of All the Americas and Actually the Entire Globe; Yeah, that's Right, We Include the Global South, the Global North AND the Global Center, So Where Else Ya Gonna Go? also known as the RLOEAPCPEFCCAAAEGYRWIGSGNAGCSWEYGG or The True, Really, I Mean It, Church™ at least until the charges are dropped!!
Remeber! All you need to join The True Church™ (RLOEAPCPEFCCAAAEGYRWIGSGNAGCSWEYGG) is a certified cheque for only $500,000.00 U.S. made out to Christ's Anglican Safe Haven or CASH!
Do it today!!!
(Initiation Fee due to increase after September 30, 2007)

Yesterday at St. Christopher's Parish

As I have mentioned before, we at St. Christopher's hold classes to help give people in the community employable skills. We hope that they will get jobs or even open their own businesses. We have been receiving financial help from Caribbean Ministries in New York, and we are very grateful for their interest in our programs.
Yesterday was the Closura, or graduation for our most recent class on making Bocadillos or Appetizers for catering. Twenty people received their certificados yesterday! Thanks to Fr. Bob Hamlyn and Caribbean Ministries for their help.

Photo 1
Table of Bocadillos
Photo 2
A Lovely Display
Photo 3
Más Bocadillos
Photo 4
Graduates and families
Photo 5
The Expectant Crowd
Photo 6
Ms. Katalina Linton's dashiki dress
Photo 7
Mrs. Dolores Scotland awards a certificate to Mrs. Theresa Braithwaite

Friday Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Blogging

Photo 1.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank: Well, Gallito Mescalito, my old friend! Here we are in front of the Veranera Jungle. Oh, what adventures await us in its dark depths!
Gallito Mescalito: ¡¡Shriieek!!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank: Perhaps we will meet strange new creatures, or even...wait, what is that noise? That sound wasn't in the script!

Photo 2.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank: What the heck is going on?
Gallito Mescalito:  ¿Shriek?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank: There is a DOG getting in the way of the photo shoot!!

Photo 3.
Gallito Mescalito: ¿Shriek? ¡SHRIIEEKK!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank: I'm telling you, I cannot work under these conditions!
Chompita: ¿Hurumph?
Off camera voice: Chompy, leave the boys alone!

Photo 4.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank: What is she doing? Where is she going?
Gallito Mescalito: ¡Shriek! sob! ¡Shriek!
Chompita: This shoot needs another character!

Photo 5.
Chompita: Stay there, guys, I'm coming with a new character!
Chompita's Chewed-up Squeaky Kittytoy: Somebody help me!!

Photo 6.
Señorita Chompita Wiggletail goes to get a new character: Mr. Chompita's Chewed-up Squeaky Kittytoy!

Photo 7
Red Mr. Peanut Bank: That does it!! This shoot is OVER!!!
Gallito Mescalito: ¡Shriek! ¡Shriek! ¡Shriieekk!

Photo 8.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank: Get away, Chompy! We are finished today!
Gallito Mescalito: ¡SHRRIIIIEEEEEEKKKK!

Photo 9.
Chompita's Chewed-up Squeaky Kittytoy: Whaddya 'spect me to do?

Friday Random 10 (or maybe 11?)

For entertainment purposes only. Please, no wagering!

1. Revolution I The Beatles
2. Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment Ramones!
3. I Am The Sea The Who
4. Eja, Mater (Rossini) Christoph Spering
5. Idioteque Radiohead
6. Spoonman Soundgarden
7. Monster Mash Bonzo Dog Do Dah Band
8. The Everlasting Now Prince and the Rainbow Children
9. Earn Enough For Us XTC
10. Sugarsweet Madder Rose
Bonus #11. Youth Against Facism Sonic Youth

Well, those paying attention will have realised that Quadrophenia is the only album by the Who on my iTunes. And #11: That's the song I hate!

St. Pat Makes A Good Point

Dance Party friend St. Pat of No Claim To Sainthood AND St. Pat's Fashion Fizz has made an important discovery! Check out her post Separated At Birth and then YOU DECIDE!

¡Coming Soon to a Blog Near You!

A pensive Chompita contemplates existence with a garden hose. AND THAT IS NOT A DRAG QUEEN NAME!!!!!!


For reasons I don't quite understand, but for which I am eternally grateful, the Friday Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Blogging feature has become quite popular. It has even been mentioned on the Important Blog of el Almirante de Moralidad, so you know that counts for something.
Well, the boys and Señorita Chompita Wiggletail, the Cutest Dog In All The Americas just had one heck of a photo shoot. There should be some good stuff en Viernes!

At least that Natasha Leigh de Gamboa didn't try to horn it!

Before This Turns Into Something More Than It Is...

The post "A Word From The Management" is my attempt at a joke. I'm not being repressed by the Mission Personnel Office. I actually like everyone there and am grateful for their work on behalf of all missionaries in the field. The Lovely Mona and I had a discussion the other day about some of my word choices (she felt that my use of the word "boinking" during a lecture at the parish was innappropriate) combined with the paragraph about humour from the Home Office led to my attempt at a joke which may give folks the wrong idea. I am not being censored. I apologize for giving the wrong impression. Margaret, David, Yanick, Rebecca and Michelle are great people.

Walk To Church With Padre Mickey - The Sequel

Click on photo for larger version

Today I took a different route to the church as I wanted to take photos of some interesting traffic signs which I will use in another post some time. Down the street and around the corner there is a statue of the Blessed Virgin, standing in the middle of the street. It looks like she's in a cage, as some bad people might steal her and paint her like a clown. We don't put up with that kind of stuff around here! I think she has eyes like an anime character!


Photo 3 is a shot of our local baseball field. Baseball season is in high swing right now. I don't care for sports so I don't keep up.

People have been dismantling this house next door to the parish. We wanted to purchase it but don't have the cash, so Instituto Episcopal San Cristóbal, the school across the street, have purchased it (keeping it in the family!), but scavengers have been tearing the place apart. I'm worried that it will collapse on the board thieves.

The last photo is a shot of a dismantler with his wheel barrow.

A Word From The Management

Cute Lil' Bunny returns to deliver a razzberry in an inoffensive manner, of course
The Mission Personnel Office of TEC are good folks and send us magazines and a great collection of everyone's newsletters. This month they sent us a list of all the blogs and websites for Appointed Missionaries, Volunteers for Mission, and those serving with the Young Adult Service Corp. The most recent (well, it's the latest one I've received) edition of the Mission Personnel Notes contained the following: Thank you for sending us your blog and website addresses. It is wonderful to read of your mission experience as you live it on a daily basis. Please keep up the good work. The Mission Personnel Office would like to remind you however, to be sensitive of the contents as your narratives are public access. What may be funny to one may be offensive to another; especially when comparing cultures, customs, etc. Remember the old saying: If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. To honor this request, I'm shutting down the Dance Party. No, not really; bad joke What may be funny to one may be offensive to another. Actually, in honor of this request and the direction of the Lovely Mona, the following words and phrases will no longer be used at Padre Mickey's Dance Party Your Source For Friday Red Mr. Peanut Bank And Gallito Mescalito Blogging!:
"Wank" (in all its forms, including Wankel Rotary Engine)
"Boink" (in all its forms)
"Bite me, Big Pete!"
"¡No me jo**s¡ ¡Lo sé Tai Chi!"
"Heavens! Those Global South types sure are bossy!"
and, finally
"Vibraphone."
Thank you for your time.

Yesterday at the Hogar

Now that school is on, I will be working with whoever needs help with homework. Yesterday, that was Eveliana and Dona. I used to work regularly with them a couple of years ago when they first came to the hogar. For those of you who have seen “Windows on Missions,” Dona is the girl reading English to me. Yesterday, both of them wanted me to help them with their English homework. Eveliana had 4 short sentences to learn and Dona was learning the words for family members for a test. They’re not as shy about saying the words in English like they were before.

Foto 1 is of Eveliana after she went back to her desk. She’s pretty shy and usually turns away when I take fotos.

Foto 2 is Dona writing the words I’m dictating to her as Estefeni looks on. First I help her define words like “cousin” and “daughter.” I gave her a couple of spelling tips after the first dictation. She’s really bright and spelled each word perfectly during the second dictation.

Foto 3 is the gang playing “Go Fish.” Sinilda and Estefani anxiously hung around me until I was free. They didn’t have any homework, but wanted to play. Of course, we went through the alphabet first. As you can see by the photo we were joined by others. I love this foto because Sinilda is smiling, something she rarely does in other fotos. I also love Enibeth’s smile. At the left you can see a new 5-year-old.

Foto 4 is when we had less kids, but I love the way Rosa Mari is peeking behind the pillar.

Foto 5 is Estefani, Sol, and Sinilda in their school uniforms. They hadn’t had a chance to fixed their hair when I called them over for the photo.