VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!

My Election Day Experience, by Padre Mickey.
Here's how it works for us Overseas Voters: one requests an Absentee Ballot. If the Absentee Ballot doesn't arrive, then one may vote by Federal Write-in Absentee Ballot, which one downloads from dem innertoobs. However, if the Absentee Ballot arrives after one has sent in the FWAB, one is to send in the Absentee Ballot, too, and it will be counted instead of the FWAB, provided that it arrives before the polls close. The Lovely Mona and I requested Absentee Ballots, and hers arrived in plenty of time, but mine did not, so I voted by Federal Write-in Absentee Ballot and we mailed them on October 21, giving them plenty of time to arrive in Sunny California and be counted. My Absentee Ballot arrived last week, and, since there is NO POSSIBLE WAY it would arrive in foggy San Mateo County in time, I would be allowed to fax it, which, while efficient, means that my vote is no longer secret, which is not a big problem with me 'cuz I'm pretty transparent anyway and don't have much in the way of secrets. So, I was ready to fax that sucker in this morning, but our FAX machine here at Parroquia San Cristóbal is not working. We have a history of purchasing FAX machines which don't last very long. Normally I would simply go across the street to Instituto Episcopal San Cristóbal and the office staff happily sends faxes on my behalf, but we are deep, deep, DEEP in the midst of the Panamanian Patriotic Holidays (Independence from Colombia; the day the folks in Colón found out that Independence from Colombia had happened; Independence from Spain; the day the folks in the Interiór found out about Independence from Spain had happened; lemme tell ya, this goes on for the entire month!) and everything, the school, the internet cafés, Mail Boxes, Etc, and every friggin' office with a fax machine are CLOSED, CLOSED, CLOSED, so I will not be able to vote via fax. ¡Qué lástima! ¿Verdad?. Well, at least the FAWB was mailed. So, pleasepleasepleaseplease make sure you vote today!