Tuesday, July 22, 2008

It's Padre Whine Time!

Boy, I made a big mistake yesterday. I was feeling better, and, instead of staying in bed and sleeping, I was up all day, posting all over the internet and having a great time. So, of course, by evening time I had a relapse of The Ting Dat's Goin' 'Round.

But I had to get up early this morning to take care of things for Migración. It's time to renew our Missionary Visa, which requires lots and lots of paperwork, of course! Well, a couple of weeks ago I pulled out my passport and discovered that it expired back in May. Hmmm, a small complicación, pero la vida en Panamá es lleno con complicasiónes. I went to the U.S. Embassy, stood in the wrong line, then was set in the correct direction, and, eventually, started the process to renew my passport (everybody kept speaking to me en español; must be all that sun I've been getting!). So today I went to pick up my passport (six days earlier than they said it would take; I guess they've cleaned up that backlog I heard about last year). When I arrived at the Embassy, there was a long line outside of the first gate. I got on line, and a member of the congregación was coming up the walk, so I gestured for her to join me. It's always nice to have a friend to talk with in line. Then some official kinda person came down the line checking people's bank receipts for their visas and he told me that I could go ahead of everyone and enter. I guess I was in the line for Panameños, not estadoünidense. So, I went through security (had to empty my pockets and take of my belt, but could keep my shoes on) and wandered up the walk to The U.S. Consulate. I only had to wait about ten minutes to get my new passport.

Well, the new passport is ugly, ugly, ugly!! When the heck did they change the passports? The illustration below is of the former passports (I nicked this on-line; my passports are with my Migración Lawyers). Simple, nice little pattern for the background. Nothing ostentatious. Just a regular, decent, passport for regular, decent travelers. It doesn't call attention to anything. It is relatively understated, for a government document.

Now, here is a copy of the new, super-ugly tacky U.S. passport (not mine, as you can tell). Flags, bald eagles, wheat, "We The People"; Good Lord, folks, who designed this? IT IS DISGUSTING!!! It screams I IS A 'MURICAN!!! FALL AT MY FEET!! I IS FREE, FREE, FREE!!! (Well, not really free, but we loves ta pretend!). I guess they came out with this last year. Man, there are "picturesque scenes of Americana" on every friggin' page. Why are the Republicans so lacking in taste? Can we get them out of office fast enough? Will we be able to get the passports changed back to something normal? I was already feeling sick, and then I had to see this tacky thang!!! I went on and on and on about it all the way home. Poor Lovely Mona!

For the five-thousandth time in my life, I am embarrassed that the Republicans are in charge.
Hey, I hear the Church in Sudan is against homosexuality and wants Bishop Gene Robinson to resign. I guess there's nothing else to worry about in Sudan. . .

I also read that the Rev. Terry Martin has a new blog. Seems he all respectable and stuff and has a job at 815. Padre says, "Check it out!"

16 comments:

johnieb said...

Oh, this is evil news indeed, as I also am up for renewal. Isn't it enough of an embarrassment being a USAer in the rest of the world without all the tacky Triumphalism? For pity's sake!

FranIAm said...

Holy crap - that is one muy feo mess of a passport. Sheesh.

I am good until 2014, so let's hope for regime and passport change.

I am not gay nor do I play one on tv, but I luvz dem and Jeebus very much. No Sudan for me I guess.

Anonymous said...

Mierda. My passport expires 21 September of this year and I am going to have live with that basura for ten years? Merde alors.

Matty Boy said...

And you've definitely taken better pictures that those two as well. I thought you got some sun! Youse look so pasty!

PseudoPiskie said...

Guess I lucked out. Mine is old style and good till 2016. Wonder what tackiness they will have come up with then.

Paul said...

As tan feo que me ch**ga la retina. Y el mio se expiró. ¡Que desastre!

I'm against bigotry. May I ask the Sudanese bishop to resign to spare the church putting up with his compromising the Gospel?

Gretchen said...

It's worse than Padre Mickey's photo shows--they're bigger, gaudier, and in higher "quality" print. Yup, I have one of the new ones and I try to carry it in a pocket where I will wear its covers and bend its corners and sweat on its pages--all the sooner to put in for a new one under the Obama administration.

Leonardo Ricardo said...

You know, I couldn't put my finger on this part before but THESE NEW FUNDIE REPUBLICANS HAVE BAD TASTE...certainly, anyone that knows anything about taste, taste level, color sense or timely and understated elgance is NO LONGER REPUBLICAN...I mean, my folks were Republicans (My Mom did tell me she voted for Kennedy and not to tell anybody...so I'm not) but they had FAB taste...really, they did, it's in my genes (along with some other stuff that evidently didn't make it into theirs)...hey, thanks Padre, we've figured it OUT...Democrats have GOOD TASTE (I bet all the famous Italian/French and Spanish Painters were Democrats...and of course Coco Chanel would have been if she had lived in New Orleans instead of Paris...there, done.

Anonymous said...

Again, always, siempre, you Leonardo amaze me with your clear headed sense of "what's what and what isn't what." I admire you so as you lavish your appropriated materials upon us...please remain present and amongst with your wordiness and bright light of wisdomness...I remain your faithful and devoted admiree and suckemup.

Get well soon Padre.

Arq. Melvino Virginfelt-Smithfeller Harbinger Valdez

Jane R said...

Ugh!

Well, mi pasaporte appears to go another few years, so let's hope! Someone pleez bring in the tasteful gay graphic designers by then, I know I am stereotyping, darlings, but no gay man designed that new-model document. Or... could it be... A Log Cabin Republican?! I mean, it's a horrible design but you must admit it is a little over the top too. Nah. The colors don't even match. The Log Cabs always accessorize properly.

Sigh.

David |Däˈvēd| said...

I am sure it is just to make them that much more difficult to counterfeit.

If every point of every star and every grain of wheat or the pupil of the eagle is not exactly where it should be the computer will know and set off all sorts of alarms.

Terrorists beware!

Leo said...

Well, I'd be angry too, if my new passport made me look so old.

Göran Koch-Swahne said...

The new American-induced EU passports also are pretty ugly.

Erroneus "maps" on every page.

Caminante said...

Sorry, I was the anonymous comment way back up with the expletives.

caminante

Grandmère Mimi said...

My passport is expired, and I will need a new one, just in case I decide to leave God's country for a spell. I can't wait to get my ever so patriotic passport. Will that prove that I am a patriot?

Aghaveagh said...

I'll have to renew mine in a year or so (and lose all my cool stamps) but yeah, this is muy feo. It looks like the flag threw up on the passport.

Padre Mickey, I think it's cool how you have passports in several aliases, just like Matt Damon in that movie....

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