Friday, September 12, 2008

What I Heard Last Night


The Lovely Mona and I saw just a little bit of the ABC Sarah Palin interview with Charles Gibson. Actually, we saw the part where she was asked about the Bush Doctrine and started shoveling the Bull Manure like a student-with-no-idea-of-the-answer during an oral exam.

Here is my version of her reply to a question she wasn't asked:

"What makes me ready to be president if, God forbid, that old guy is hellbent to drop dead, Charlie? If, Charlie, he blinks but is unable to open his eyes again, Charlie, because he's as dead as a moose in my garage? In what respect, Charlie? Are you, Charlie, asking me whether U.S. Americans understand Foreign Charlie Policy? Because, Charlie, I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, Charlie, and, I believe that they should, Charlie, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children, Charlie. And, actually, Charlie wink we don't need maps because we can see Russia from Alaska, Charlie, which makes me an expert on Foreign Policy, just like looking out my window and seeing the moon from my house in Wasilla, Charlie, makes me an astronaut. You see, Charlie, I will be the first hockey-mom-astronaut-lipstick-wearing-pittbull president Vice-president, and to ignore that fact, Charlie, is hellbent on being sexist. Terrorists are hellbent on destroying our nation. We must do whatever it takes. We must not blink, Charlie. Terrorists are hellbent on destroying America and making us blink, Charlie, and we must not blink. If we blink, Charlie, we won't be able to see Russia from Alaska, and then it will all be lost. You know what else causes blinking, Charlie? Putting mascara on a pig, Charlie. Lipstick, Charlie, is bad enough, but mascara and eye-liner and terrorists hellbent to put eyeshadow on a pittbull causes lots of blinking, Charlie, and that puts us in danger. And that's why winning in Afghanistan is so blinking important, Charlie. Oh, Charlie, and Iraq too. We, Charlie, have to, Charlie, win in, Charlie, Iraq, Charlie, and, Charlie, Afghanistan, Charlie. Charlie-Charlie-Charlie-Charlie-hellbent-hellbent-hellbent-hellbent-Charlie-don't blink-don't blink-don't blink-don't blink-blinkity-blinkity-blinkity-blink-blink!!! President's World View, Charlie!"

8 comments:

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

I didn't see it, and now I'm so glad. LOL

Leonardo Ricardo said...

I saw it already...my mouth dropped open...Sarah is a idiot with spellcheck installed in her upper molars...really, lot's of anger that isn't to be confused with comptetiveness smouldering as she was cornered into demonstrating what a no-little she really is...shame on McCain.

Göran Koch-Swahne said...

I do hope it doesn't resemble...

(as they use to say about portraits ;=)

FranIAm said...

Ya Padre, blink blink ya know Padre blink blink yayayayayayayayaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I can see Panama from my imagination. Can I be VP now please?

it's margaret said...

this is the best blinking essay on blinking Palin I've ever blinking seen!

Марко said...

I heard that she thinks that the "Bush Doctrine" has something to do with government regulation of pubic hair grooming. I am not as appalled by her ignorance as I am by the fact that so many American voters find her appealing. The U.S. Constitution notes that a president can be removed from office due to "inability to discharge the power and duties" of office. Does this mean that Palin could be removed from the presidency for reasons of incompetence?

Padre Mickey said...

Well, Mapko, since we didn't remove the present occupant of that office for gross incompetence, I don't think Congress would do so for Palin, if, God forbid, the Republicans took the White House again.

Juanuchis said...

My basset hound is better qualified for any public office than she is. She scares the bejaysus outta me.

What scares me more is the multitudes who are now buying into the Republican bullshit.

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