Friday, August 31, 2007

Friday Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Blogging

I guess the past two week's performances have given Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love the desire to start a band. Well, we can't dress everyone up like bishops ALL the time! Tonight we are auditioning guitarists.

Red Mr. Peanut Bank I am Red. Mr. Peanut Bank. I specialize in camp fire-style guitar work. I know everything Woody Guthrie ever played or thought of. I also play a mean version of "Pharaoh Pharaoh." off camera voice Can you play "Louie Louie"? Red Mr. Peanut Bank Er, no. But I do know "Seek Ye First." I have also lost several guitars to the camp fire. off camera voice Well, why don't you play something for us.
clears throat Mimimimi Found a peanut, found a peanut, found a peeeeenut just off camera voice NEXT!!

Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy tears it up with the guitar solo from "Another Girl, Another Planet" by The Only Ones
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Rock 'n Roll, ya pukes!!
off camera voice Very nice. Stay close to the phone!

Some fine, flaminco-style guitar work, and then ¡El Toro! sings One ton tomato. I gotta one ton tomato. One ton tomato, I need a one ton tomatooooo
off camera voice ¡¡Por Fa Vor!! ¿A quién le toca?

Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House My music is my art. I am such a sensitive artist that I can barely stand the fact that you will be listening to me as I sing from the depths of my soul.
off camera voice Can ya play "Louie Louie?"
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Er, no. But I do know "Pharaoh Pharaoh."
off camera voice Well, why don't you play something for us.
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House I've suffered for my art. Now it's your turn.
sings and strums I gave my love a cherry, it had no bones. I gave my love a chicken, it had no stones. I gave my love a off camera voice NEXT!!

La-la the Tellytubby La-la play gehtah!
off camera voice Run away! Run away!

After some really fine guitar playing, Diablito Sucio sings Que mis ojos se despierten con la luz de tu mirada yo, A Dios le pido. Que mi madre no se muera y que mi padre me recuerde. A Dios le pido.
off camera voice ¡Qué Bueno! Stay close to the phone, pal!

Gallito Mescalito in motion Shri off camera voice Who let the bird in? NEXT!

Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel of Doom I don't normally play guitar; I'm more of a horn player. However, I need the work. I will be using a unique technique in which I will be blowing on the strings. It produces a very subtle sound.
off camera voice Can ya play "Louie Louie?"
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel of Doom Er, no. But I can play "La Bamba!"
off camera voice Well, don't call us, we'll call you.
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel of Doom Can I play something?
off camera voice No. NEXT!

Wooden Kuna Doll I can't play. Padre Mickey just posed me with the guitar because he was on a roll.
off camera voiceThank you for your honesty. You look good; maybe you should take lessons. Learn to play "Louie Louie."

Squeaky Gorilla Every body loves this! plays dow-dow-dow-dow dow dow! dow-dow-dow-dow dow dow! dow-dow-dow-dow dow dow! Dow. Dow. Dow.
sings Hey ho, let's go! Hey ho, let's go! Hey ho, let's go! Hey ho, let's go!
They're forming in a straight line dow dow!
They're going through a tight wind dow dow!
The kids are losing their minds: The Blitzkrieg Bop! bwah bwah bwah!
off camera voice Thank you. Very nice. Nothing like the classics!

So, the auditions are over. Who would YOU want as Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love's guitarist? Place your votes in the comments.

The Votes So Far:
The Cat is in the lead.

Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy: Three Four votes
Squeaky Gorilla: Two votes
¡El Toro!: One vote
Blurry Bear: One vote from some nutty Brasileño
Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel of Doom: One vote from the foot of a volcano in Guatemala
Diablito Sucio: Possibly two votes, although it's hard to tell if one vote is only a suggestion and the second is wavering.


David Austin Allen said...

I vote for;
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy

Is that last foto Revdm. Murray?

Padre Mickey said...

No, David; It's just some guy in a hat.
Thank you for your vote.

Matty Boy said...

Squealy Gorilla, hands down. Playing Ramones at an audition is an automatic call back.


Dennis said...

It is hard to tell. Can you have them all come back and play Clocks by Cold Play?

Grandmère Mimi said...

With David, I have to go with Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy.

Dennis said...

For you, Padre.

The Kingsmen singing Louie, Louie

Dennis said...

And go see the OCICBOV... website to see what that vicious Grandmere Mimi had to say about our constant struggle just to please the readers.

Ed said...

Well, I've heard auditions that were more bizarre... In fact, I am auditioning sopranos right now. After five "Ave Marias" (next time I'll specify NO AVE MARIA), I got a Cole Porter tune which was nice, but not really what I'm looking for :-) All of them knew "Seek ye first", however. Would Miss Egyptian Hippo be willing to commute to L.A.?

Tara Mobley said...

To me it's a toss-up between Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy and Squeaky Gorilla. I love The Ramoes, but that solo from "Another Girl, Another Planet" is sweet.

As for Coldplay, so...much...HATE...

mellie said...

Like I saidicated before: someone gots way too much time on their hands.

Suzanne said...

My vote is for El Toro. Personally I like the smoothe sounds. But I thought it was,
"One Ton Potato".

Luiz Coelho said...

I vote for Blurry Bear.

Anonymous said...

Oh really, I don't know what you would do if I didn't "pop in" and help you "sort stuff" out and save you from your own lack of taste and are so confused all the time as to which/witch end is up and what's what or not...obviously (and I say this with a deep, and all knowing, homosexual tone for extra emphasis) The Guatemalan Apocalyptic Angel of Doom brings the exact "combination" of rich pitch and "complimentos" Egyptian Hyppo of Whatever perfectoly...actually, I believe that GAAD (as he is known on high) will one day (very soonish) take to the top of the chartes, er, charts and FLY us all down to Rio to see Luiz officiate!

It's so hot down here and I'm dancing as fast as I can...just where is Bishop Vacables anyway when one could really use a Grand Slam overbid?


Senorito Elvin Dorington Hucksley-Ramierez y Ferreteria, Lip reader and Mixed Media experto.

A su orden

johnieb said...

What? No votes for La-la or Diablito from this crowd? Is this being run fairly?

Mr. Chompy's etc., etc. gots mah vote.

Matty Boy said...

I already voted for the gorilla, but if you are going for a look, Diablito Sucio cuts a fine figure.

Mary Clara said...

I loves me some Diablito Sucio but I wasn't sure whether it was okay to vote for him since I can't read Spanish and don't know what those lyrics were about. . .

David Austin Allen said...

Mary Clarq it isn't anything bad. The Dirty Little Devil is singing to a "significant" other.

That I awaken to the light of your glance, I ask God.
That my mother doesn't die and that my father remembers me, I ask God.

¡But he is one butt ugly Diablito!

Luiz Coelho said...

I suggest everybody to vote for the Blurry Bear.

1) Because Mickey's blog is not truly inclusive: Blurry Bear was denied the sacrament of playing the guitar.

2) Because Blurrycito was humble enough to realize he wasn't tallented enough.

3) Because we should protest against the House of Bishops of the True true true (I mean it) Church, which passed a resolution forbidding all those characters whose manner of life was a challenge to the wider church, to play the guitar. Blurry Bear was excluded, then (I wonder why the Teletubby is playing it! Must be one of those liberal Chicago Piskiepalians trying to make one of them sneak in).

Padre Mickey said...

Well, I may be accused of "sizeism" here, but Blurry Bear is way, way, too tiny to play the guitar. He's smaller than La-la, who can barely support the instrument!

Also, playing the guitar is not a sacrament, it is a vocation, a calling, and while God calls all of us to work for the coming of the Reign of God, God does not call everyone to play the guitar!!

Dang lib'ruls!

Luiz Coelho said...

Playing the guitar is the most important of all sacraments ever!

It was ordained by Christ Himself, ya' know.

And that's why Mickey is THA PRIEST.

I See You!

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