Friday Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Blogging: ANOTHER Night of Bad Comedy

Red Mr. Peanut Bank I think it’s time to call a truce on the jokes about rabbits, hippos, and cats, etc. We all need to get along.
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! Shrieky-shriek-shriek. ¿Shriek?
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Well of course you can say that, Gallito Mescalito; no one is going to tell any rooster jokes because they're all filthy.
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Yeah, dis is a fambly blog!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, I’m serious. We need to get along better.
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Well, I like telling jokes, especially about you lot.
Mighty Moose of Vermont What if we didn’t tell jokes about each other? What if we had a different target?
¡El Penguino! Yeah! That’s a great idea! What if we told jokes about someone we all know deserves a good ribbin’? Like. . .
Everybody, in one voice PADRE MICKEY!!!
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡SSHHRRIIEEEKKK!!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank That’s not bad at all! I call him! Yoohoo! Padre!


Padre Mickey Dudes! ‘sup?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Good evening, sir. Would you like to hear a joke?
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek?
Padre Mickey Well, I suppose. It’s not about hippos, is it? I’ve heard way too many of those lately.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, no, actually. It’s on a subject closer to home. Er, you do a lot of preaching, right?
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek?
Padre Mickey Yes. Why?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Did you every hear about the time, after the church service a little boy told the priest, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
"Well, thank you," the priest replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!
Padre Mickey Yes. That’s a pretty old joke.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, then, Christmas was finally over and the Priest's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried."
Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dear," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them."
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡SSHHRRIIEEEKKK!!
Padre Mickey Hmmm. I think the Lovely Mona would like the joke more than I do.
Why don’t you two move along?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, all right. Have a nice evening!
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek!


Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Hey Padre, I got a couple for you!
Padre Mickey Well, I hope they’re better than those last two!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love An Episcopal priest delivered a sermon in ten minutes one Sunday morning, which was about half the usual length of his sermons. He explained, "I regret to inform you that my dog, who is very fond of eating paper, ate that portion of my sermon which I was unable to deliver this morning".
Padre Mickey A good Episcopal priest usually preaches only ten minutes.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Yeah, right. Then why are your sermons usually twelve to thirteen minutes?
Padre Mickey ‘Cuz I’m not a good Episcopal priest, I guess.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Okay, so after the service, a visitor from another church shook hands with the priest and said, "Padre, if that dog of yours has any pups, I want to get one to give to my priest".
Padre Mickey Hahahahaha.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love A boy was watching his father, an Episcopal priest, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
Padre Mickey Boy, you folks are a little hostile about preaching! You’re done. NEXT!


¡El Toro! Hola Padre.
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla Hi, Padre skeek
Padre Mickey Hi, Boys. I suppose you two have some jokes about priests?
¡El Toro! ¡Sí, tenemos!
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla Yeah, we do. skeek A little girl at an Episcopal church on the East coast of the U.S. asked the priest about the white stones in a graveyard. skeek
Padre Mickey What is that noise?
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla What noise? skeek So the priest replied, "That's where all the dead people are." skeek
Padre Mickey What is that noise?
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla I don’t hear anything. Much surprised, the girl asked, "That's heaven?"
¡El Toro! Jajajajaja. ¡Muy divertido!
Padre Mickey That squeak is very annoying! Almost as bad as that joke!
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla Well, I don’t know what you’re talking about. skeek Here’s another one: skeek A young girl once confessed to her priest that she thought she was guilty of the sin of pride. skeek She said, "When I look in the mirror, I think I am beautiful." skeekThe priest said, "That's not a sin, that's a mistake." skeek
Padre Mickey That was terrible! And the squeak is driving me crazy!
¡El Toro! Es verdad. El gorila es muy ruidoso.
Padre Mickey You two are finished. NEXT!
Mr. Squeaky Gorilla Bye! skeek
¡El Toro! ¡Hasta luego!
Padre Mickey Not if I see you first!



Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Hey dere, Padre! Love da beahd!
Padre Mickey Thanks. Gimme yer worst, cat!
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Very well, den! Tree boys ah in da schoolyahd braggin’ ‘bout dere faddahs. Da fioist boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few woids on a piece a paper, he calls it a poem, dey gives him fitty dollahs."
Padre Mickey Okay.
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Da second boy says, "Da's nuttin. My Dad scribbles a few woids on a piece a paper, he calls it a song, dey give him a hunnerd dollahs."
Padre Mickey Uh huh.
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Da toid boy says, "I got you bote beat. My Dad scribbles a few woids on a piece a paper, he calls it a soimon and it takes eight people ta collect all da money!"
Padre Mickey HAHAHAHAHA! That’s pretty funny! Except only guys like Don Armstrong pull in that kind of money for a sermon. Thanks, cat! That was actually quite good!
Mr. Chompy’s Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy See ya ‘round, den, Padre!



Padre Mickey Hello, Mighty Moose of Vermont. And how can I help you?
The Mighty Moose of Vermont I have a joke, Padre.
Padre Mickey Watcha got, Moose? I kin take it!
The Mighty Moose of Vermont An Episcopal priest is driving home from a sick visit, when he looks in his rear-view mirror and sees an obviously intoxicated driver in the car behind him. The priest continues driving, watching the other driver in his mirror, when he misses a turn and drives in to a ditch. As the priest comes out of his damaged car, the drunk stops his car, opens his window and says, "Father, are you all right?" The priest answers, "Yes, son; God is with me!" The drunk responds, "Well, you better let him ride with me; you're gonna kill him!"
Padre Mickey Very good! I’ve always loved that one! NEXT!



Padre Mickey Ah, el Penguino. And I suppose you have a joke to tell?
¡El Penguino! Yes, I do, Padre. And it’s a good one.
Padre Mickey Well, I’ll be the judge of that. Let’s hear it.
¡El Penguino! A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven. An Episcopal priest is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the priest’s entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, “Okay, we’ll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff.” The priest is astonished and replies, “But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely, I rate higher than a cabby.” St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: “Here we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabby drove his taxi, people prayed.”
Padre Mickey Hmmmm. Gotta ‘nuther one?
¡El Penguino! Well, let’s try this one: Three Episcopal priests in Panamá were having lunch at a Fonda. One of them said, "You know, since verano started I've been having trouble with them flying bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything, but nothing seems to scare them off. Another priest said "Yes, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated, and they won't go away!" The third priest said, "I baptized all mine, made them members of the church, and they haven't seen one back since!"
Padre Mickey Well, it’s good, but I’ve heard several times. Who’s next?



Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Hey Padre, my ol’ fren, ‘sup wit choooo?
Padre Mickey Sheesh, Bunrab; when did you start talking like that?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Sorry!
Padre Mickey Man! You’re gettin skinnier and more torn up every day! Still Chompita’s favorite?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Yes, unfortunately!
Padre Mickey Well, I think we’ve run this into the ground. What have you got?
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Okay! Here it goes: An Episcopal priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?" To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
Music Bwah bwah bwaaaaahhh.



This evening’s episode was directed by Señorita Chompita Wiggletail, seen here explaining the actors’ motivation