Excitement in the Sacristy

Sacristy Rat, estilo Panameño
Parroquia San Cristóbal is close to Jardin la Paz, the local cemetery, so we get a lot of funerals. I have presided over twenty funerals so far his year, but most of the funerals are not for members of this congregation. Today we had a funeral for the aunt of a parishioner. I went into the sacristy to pour some incense into the boat. As I reached for the boat, I heard a scraping noise just above my head. I looked up and there were two young, green iguanas. One was holding on to the burglar bar with all its might, while the other was looking at me. I said, "¡Mira! ¡Iguanas!" which caused the observant iguana to jump on to the top of the cupboard and hide behind a bag of old candles. The acolyte hollered and shot out of the sacristy, slamming the door and running off to find the Sexton to rid the sacristy of our reptile invaders. I decided to keep an eye on them and remained in the sacristy. One iguana continued to hang on to the bar for dear life while the second dashed about the top of the cupboard, seeking a better hiding place. Finally, the Sexton came in with some poison. I told him that there would be no poisoning of iguanas in this sacristy and suggested he take them out of the building. "I'm not carrying them!" he answered, so I asked him to chase them out. I went to my office to vest, as the sacristy was just a wee bit too busy for my tastes. Vested, I returned to the sacristy, where the Sexton and Junior Warden were moving furniture in an attempt to find The Observant Iguana, as The Clinging Iguana had been evicted. An hour and a half later, as the hearse and the Funeral Procession headed to Jardin de Paz I returned to the sacristy and asked the Sexton if our friend had been evacuated yet. It's two hours later and our friend is still missing. Our Iguana seems to have found a fine hiding place! I wonder if it will still be there Sunday morning. . .