Thursday, November 09, 2006

Excitement in the Sacristy

Sacristy Rat, estilo Panameño
Parroquia San Cristóbal is close to Jardin la Paz, the local cemetery, so we get a lot of funerals. I have presided over twenty funerals so far his year, but most of the funerals are not for members of this congregation. Today we had a funeral for the aunt of a parishioner. I went into the sacristy to pour some incense into the boat. As I reached for the boat, I heard a scraping noise just above my head. I looked up and there were two young, green iguanas. One was holding on to the burglar bar with all its might, while the other was looking at me. I said, "¡Mira! ¡Iguanas!" which caused the observant iguana to jump on to the top of the cupboard and hide behind a bag of old candles. The acolyte hollered and shot out of the sacristy, slamming the door and running off to find the Sexton to rid the sacristy of our reptile invaders. I decided to keep an eye on them and remained in the sacristy. One iguana continued to hang on to the bar for dear life while the second dashed about the top of the cupboard, seeking a better hiding place. Finally, the Sexton came in with some poison. I told him that there would be no poisoning of iguanas in this sacristy and suggested he take them out of the building. "I'm not carrying them!" he answered, so I asked him to chase them out. I went to my office to vest, as the sacristy was just a wee bit too busy for my tastes. Vested, I returned to the sacristy, where the Sexton and Junior Warden were moving furniture in an attempt to find The Observant Iguana, as The Clinging Iguana had been evicted. An hour and a half later, as the hearse and the Funeral Procession headed to Jardin de Paz I returned to the sacristy and asked the Sexton if our friend had been evacuated yet. It's two hours later and our friend is still missing. Our Iguana seems to have found a fine hiding place! I wonder if it will still be there Sunday morning. . .


Leonardo Ricardo said...

"The Observant Iguana" is a perfect name for a blog from Central America and "The Clinging Iguana" reflects the +Southern Cone.

susan s. said...

Ha, Ricardo...the perfect observation!

Matty Boy said...

Is the picture of one of your two iguanas, or is this some pretty boy iguana model they put in front of the camera in the place of the hard-working, everyday, salt-of-the-earth iguanas who get so little respect in our modern media?

Padre Mickey said...

Matty Boy, the iguana pictured above went to the Pretty Boy School of Models and is named *Sparkle*

Leonardo, I think The Observant Iguana should be the name of YOUR blog, and then you can join Luiz and myself as The Invincible Global Center Bloggers of Doom!!

Susan, I agree with you, just as I have always agreed with you on everything, if I know what's good for me ;-)

Anonymous said...

"The Invincible Global Center Bloggers of Doom!!" Padre Mickey

But, but, Padre I'm trying to tone down my blognasty rhetoric...I've been "instructed" and "exampled" by Bishop Gene to "love *them* anyway" (I'm having a tiny bit of trouble not kicking in the computer when some of them "share" their righteous hatefulness coupled with their southern fried stupidity)...surely, nobody wants to read a blog where YO simply/verbally smack around purse-lipped English Literature majors/ zealots with spellcheck?

Besides, YOU are inspiring, funny AND sensitive and Luiz is kind and loving AND sensitive! I'm insensitive concerning the puritanical dipped (past tense for dips)...I have NO MERCY for the terrified/depraved/hurtful hate mongers but maybe I could write the
"Iguanas Last Stand" or "Dark at The Top of the Iguana" or "Streetcar Named Iguana" or "Nigtmare on Iguana Calle" or "Forever Iguana"

Happy el Jueves, God is good and I'm painting a oval/vertical/mirror I had made with wooden/inclusive pescados swimming Norte all around (they will be "illegal pescados" after they pass Baja California and I've got secret 'Gay Agenda' messages/takeover/devilment plans sewn inside of 'em targeting some of the Newtwork hermanos!

Lord Have Mercy (I'm out of control again)...just, where is that sneaky Iguana when I need someone/something to talk "turkey" too (Thanksgiving is coming and I'm having a big dinner...wanna visit?)!


Leonardo Ricardo (I forgot my password)

Luiz Coelho said...

You are so funny... All you all.

I've always wanted to have an iguana when I was a child. Unfortunately, I haven't had the opportunity.


I'm pretty sure Mickey will keep the couple Barahona/Venables iguanas well fed and happy.

Leo's blog would be something interesting to read. Perhaps Chike, BabyBlue and all his "friends" will get to post comments there, so we'll rejoice with Leo's spicy answers to them.

I would also like to see the kind of art he does. It would be interesting.

Tara Mobley said...

Yay for excitement via invasion of wildlife!

Matty Boy said...

I taught in El Salvador for a few months back last century, and I had a good sized iguana who lived happily in the enclosed veranda of my ground floor apartment. He pushed through a screen one day to see what he thought of living in my front room instead. I had a brief discussion with Sr. Iguana about the many superior options available on the veranda vs. my front room, including more direct Central American sunlight, some of the world's best sunlight according to many reptiles, and many more tasty bugs to eat, yum yum!

I admit now in retrospect that my debate partner Mr. Broom may have made some very convincing arguments as well.

Luiz Coelho said...

Fr. Mickey, have a nice sunday...

In fact, I've been thinking. Perhaps someday we take this idea of "Global Center" more seriously and start to publish a separate site on this.


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