Saturday, August 23, 2008

Little Eddie, You Can Be My Boyfren

Señorita Chompita Wiggletail responds to an open letter from Little Eddie of Kirkepiscatoid fame

¡Hola, Little Eddie! ¿Qué tal?

Padre and the Lovely Mona lets me take a glance at la computadora so that I seed your fóto. You are muy guapo. You have a nice face. It looks fluffy. I likes me some fluffy. You have a little bone medallion. ¡Qué priti! I don't have to wear anything like that 'cuz I am Panameña.

Do you live in the house? I lives in the house. I go for walks with the Lovely Mona, and sometimes with Padre. The Big Park is my favorite baño. Everyday I bark at the squirrel. Do you bark at the squirrels? They are bad. They steal mangos. I bark at the garbage mans. They are bad. They steal our precious garbage. Do you bark at the garbage mans? I also bark at invisible things to keep in practice.

I likes to eat whatever Padre eats. I likes to sit on the couch between Padre and the Lovely Mona so that she won't lean on Padre. I likes to play with the dog toys. I have many dog toys. They are famous. Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House is my favorite, but I chewed him up real good and he don't gots no more stuffin. Also, he don't gots no more face. What he does gots is big holes and tears in him's fluffy body.

You can be my boyfriend. I don't never get that operashun 'cuz it costes lots a monies in Panama. Plus, I reject all the boys here. You can be my boyfren 'cuz you is far away.

If you love me you can sen' me squeaky dog toys.

Here are some fótos of me, Your Sweet Darlin'.

Here I am at la computadora

Here I am tinkin' 'bout whatcha ritanated

Here I am wif the crocagator. He is very squeaky

I play wif dem toys. I play wif dem hard


Kirkepiscatoid said...

Chompita...Kirk is smokin' pig butts today for da church BBQ tomorrow so I gotta help guard them and guard Mr. Boomer.

Iz glad yuz gonna be my girlfren. I will have Kirk take picturs of my toys. Most of 'em don squeek no more. Dey are uglier den Bunrab. But if you e-mail Kirk da address, I will send you some squeeky toys nicer den mine!

We lives in da house at night and outside on our trolley lines in da day. We haf nice dawghowses for outside. I guard and bark at all da bad peeplz like the garbage man, the UPS man, the mail man and sometimes da postmistress too when she substitoots. When you live in da country, barking at the bad peeplz is important.

Anyway, I gotta guard da pig butts so gotta go. Can't trust Kirk wid dem, you know...

Anonymous said...

We are a Pro Dog/Life Community at the Foot of the Volcano (wherever it is that we think we are)...we strongly encourage online introductions, legal unions, adoptions, exporting and blessings of all types...only sincere/house-broken need apply...howling a plus.

Fido Gonzalez, Serena de Gonzalez, Frida de Gonzalez and Marco Gonzalez

David |Däˈvēd| said...

I thought you sort of lived in the trough of two volcanoes. Kind of like between two giant earth breasticles. Una mas vieja de la otra.

So Fido is a polygamist?

Jane R said...

¡Hey! ¡Dis here is a family blog!

'course we do define family broadly.

FranIAm said...

Oh such hot sweaty and mad sexy dog love here!

Kirkepiscatoid said...

Well, and Little Eddie and I had a talk about how in the Latino world, getting in good with the parents is a good idea also b/c most dates are chaparoned. My two years of high school Spanish are finally coming in handy, explaining to Little Eddie words like "guapo." He likes being muy guapo!

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