Friday, January 04, 2008

Friday Red Mr. Peanut Bank and Gallito Mescalito Blogging

For our brave and righteous friend, Dennis!


Some where in the World Wide Anglican Communion, a closet door slams!

Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek? ¡SHRIEK!
muffled male voice from closet Go away! There's no one here!

Red Mr. Peanut Bank Hello, Gallito Mescalito! Happy New Year! What's going on?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! Shrieky-shrieky-shriek-shriek. ¿Shriek?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank You don't say! Men with funny hats and robes! How many?
Gallito Mescalito Shriek.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Well, let's try! Hallo! Hallo! Who is in there?
muffled male voice from closet Go away! There's no one here!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Why don't you come out? It can't be very pleasant in there!
muffled male voice from closet GO AWAY! WE, er, I mean, I FEEL SAFE IN HERE. Plus, there's no one in here anyway. GO AWAY!
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡SHRRIIEEKK!!


Red Mr. Peanut Bank No, really! You should come out!
El Penguino Hola. ¿Qué tal?
Mighty Moose of Vermont 'sup, guys?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! Shrieky-shrieky-shriek-shriek.
El Penguino¿En serio?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Yes. There must be about three of them in there!
Mighty Moose of Vermont Well that's just silly! No one around here cares about that! Hey, 'sup with Chompita?
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek? ¡SHRIEK!
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Oh, she's such a Stage Mother! She's keeping an eye on Bunrab and Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy.
El Penguino HEY YOU GEYES! COME ON OUTTA DERE!
muffled male voice from closet NO! GO AWAY!
Mighty Moose of Vermont Sheesh!
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡SHRRIIEEKK!!


Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Why are you all standing out here in front of the closet?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! Shrieky-shrieky-shriek-shriek
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Really! That is so sad!
El Penguino What's really sad is that it's not even that much of a secret.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank That's true. But I guess they're afraid that their "friends" will hate them.
muffled male voice from closet, whispering Geez, how many are out there? Why don't they just go away?
muffled male voice from closet GO A WAY!!


Everybody, in one voice Oh, Hello Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love. You're looking lovely tonight!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Thank you, everybody, and Happy New Year! Say, what's going on?
Gallito Mescalito ¡Shriek! Shrieky-shrieky-shriek-shriek
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Closet cases, eh? Well, it's best if we get them out of there.


El Penguino Come on, geyes, open the closet door. We want to help you!
Bunrab, the Filthiest Toy in the House Yeah, it's dark and unhealthy in there. You need to be in the fresh air.
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Yes, sunlight disinfects. And you will be much happier once you come to terms with who you really are! Come on out of the closet!
Mighty Moose of Vermont Come on out! You'll feel much better! We won't judge you! We want to help you!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love Come on, guys. We love you. God loves you. Come out of the closet and confront your demons. Be brave!!
Gallito Mescalito ¿Shriek? ¡SHRIEK!
muffled male voice from closet But what if our mothers find out! They will hate us and reject us!
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love No, it will be okay. You're strong enough to face who you are, and we'll all help you.
Gallito Mescalito Shriek


muffled male voice from closet Promise? You won't hate us?
Red Mr. Peanut Bank Come on out, boys. We want to help you.
muffled male voice from closet Well, okay. I'm going to open the closet door.
Miss Egyptian Hippo of Love, whispering I see three mitres looking out. But I think there are quite a few more hiding in there.

muffled male voice from closet Okay, we're about to come out. Are you sure it's safe?
Everybody, in one voice YES! COME ON OUT OF THE CLOSET!

Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Hey yose guys. 'sup?
Mighty Moose of Vermont We're trying to get these guys out of the closet.
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Oh yeah? Who ah dey? WAIT! I KNOW YOU! YER DAT BISHOP WOT SIGNED DAT LETTAH "BOUT DAT GUY IN FRESNO!! HOODA TUNK DAT YOU WUZ A CLOSET CASE?!?
Several Muffled Male Voices from the Closet YIKES!!! GO AWAY!!!
closet door slams


Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy How rude!
Everybody, in one voice THANKS A LOT, CAT!
Mr. Chompy's Chewed-up Squeaky Kitty Toy Wudeye do?
Gallito Mescalito ¡¡SHRRIIEEKK!!
Comical Sit-com Trumpet Bwah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaaah

9 comments:

Caminante said...

BRILLIANT!!!! And Mighty Moose of Vermont sings (to the tune of Camelot): 'Come out, come out wherever you are....'

Juanuchis said...

Gussy ...

I hung onto every "shriek". ;)

Paul said...

Fresh air and sunshine are so wonderful! A very straight middle-of-the-road priest said to me years ago that he supposed coming out was like resurrection. It is yet one more form of being born again.

Dance Party crew, yer all fantastic!

ePisc0pal0oza said...

Bravo!!!
Sometimes I live for "Friday Red".

Dennis said...

All that I can say is thank you and I am honored.

Jane R said...

ROFTLMAO! I started laughing at the very first picture! Brilliant, brilliant.

Why do I think of Miss Hippo of Love as a Bette Midler figure?

"Viv" said...

"Why do I think of Miss Hippo of Love as a Bette Midler figure?" jane r

Because, you're right...there is much more to this little "Friday Night" clam bake than meets the eye (balls)...the whole thing is a cover for many, many importantes/well-knowners who wish to remain seemingly different than they/we really are...it's kinda like pretending for so long that one actually believes the lies others are expected to believe when one begins to deceive...whew, it's a good thing, I've got my feeto's on the groundo...I can't be made to believe anything is different than it really is unless its really the way I perceived it to be incorrectly...now, about that stack of midget mitres perched at the closet door cracked open...I'd like to go on record as saying that these cracked mitre wearing chicken shifties (no relation to Gallito Mescalito who quite obviously, from the SHRRIIEEKK, is a real studo and no behind-the-scenes creeper) have NO PRIDE (thought it was the other-way-around did ya?)...no, prideless fellas who apparently are cowards too (and God only knows, yes God, what else these shifties have been up to).

Closeted queens need a little goose from the moose to get them out in the OPEN it seems!

Vivian Showalter the Smug

David Austin Allen said...

Absolutely the best I've seen since bailando en está fiesta.

Witty, creative and touching relevant and significant current events.

johnieb said...

Yeah, PM (not MP, though I harbor suspicions you may be one of those, too), one of yer best.

I See You!

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